Star Glazers

Regret

2010-11-04T02:59:00.000-07:00

I keep asking myself whether I should be upset. A friend you endear yet disappointing in the sense that when you realised it was all inattentive when the actions and replies reveals the meaninglessness of the conversation you have had.

It is regrettable.

At the end of the day, it is not what is said that meant anything, it is what that has been done.

Too much has been taken for granted.

Alas, heavy sense of disappointment but in life, where else can you go but the point of that regret.

It is sad but that's life.

Dolphins

2010-10-11T08:20:00.000-07:00

Hector Dolphins at Akoroa, New Zealand. Ain't they cute?...family of 4..the smallest I think is a calf..awesome..

一首曲

2010-09-14T09:17:00.000-07:00

在寻求一首曲，一份心意和感觉。
也许它在逃避，也许是时间未到。
看到了雨滴在窗外，很多感触。
每滴虽然看起来都很类似，但它不以为然。
雨来的时候，也是希望来临的时刻。
应为可能在寻找的那滴雨就在你面前。
我还在窗后，还没走出去，笔也还未拿起。

我放弃。

When music speaks louder than lyrics

2010-09-13T08:48:00.000-07:00

A year has gone since I put pen to a feeling. A song ensues and a beautiful enchanting melody has since been written. And finally it is immortalised into a piano piece...

Aptly - words not spoken, yet the music encapsulate every moment that has transpired the whole year. Its really a lovely piece. Possibly the best melody I have came up with...

And because the song is done up, I wrote another song in response to it.

It has been difficult especailly the recent weeks. Given it much thought.

Simply, it takes 2 to clap and when its only one..sadly and truly..its a slap...u could only do and give so much. After so much, if there is the clap, there isn't the response that is forthcoming, and you release its a slap after slap..its perhaps to know the rap is over.

Just knowing you did your best is all that matters.

I woke this morning, looking at the sun. The music continues and it spoke louder than the year that has gone by. Just five more days...

The weight of expectancy

2010-08-27T10:50:00.000-07:00

It is hard when someone promise you so much yet deny the fulfilment of that promise.
Disappointment can sap a person.

You can do only so much and still so much. When the giving stops, the grace stops.
I would never want to stop the grace, but yet in that grace when it is only a direction that is one way, how long could the giving without the disappointment cripples you.

It has been more than a year.

I hvae kept a melody. When I hear again this tune, how much more would the weight of expectancy again cause a crashing reminder.

We are after all nothing.

It is almost time. And its time I call time.

Done so much but it amounts to really nothing.

The weight of expectacy. Alas is only still a weight of expectancy.

Blind spots

2010-08-09T07:25:00.001-07:00

I wonder why. But its really not easy to keep forgiving and not feel any tinge of disappointment. Vague as I might write but I guess how long this patience may last. Sigh...

Forgave and keep forgiving. Tough lesson.

Hope I can by His grace keep forgiving....

Memory melody

2010-08-07T06:16:00.000-07:00

As I hear the melody of a song that I have written over a year, it is the memories of the yesteryear that flashes by.

We can't hold the past, neither we can know the future. But whatever that endears us is a memory that is so dear.

A melody with no words, yet it has inscriptions beyond words.

I wrote this song for purpose. An endering purpose.

A song with words yet without.

Perhaps the best melody I have thought of simply because it was the best memories I had.

A Letter

2010-08-02T08:02:00.000-07:00

Why do I sleep late sometimes and sometimes early. Tonight, I watch a show, titled "letters to God". Moving. Very much so.

Yet looking and reflecting the live that I lived, I guess there are now more regrets. Things not said but hope.

Some things would never be spoken. But letters to God, yeah they find its way to Him.

I wish I could simply say what I want to everyone. Sometimes hold back just because I don't want people to be hurt. To remain protected. Relationships etc..u name it.

But with God, everything I want to say can be a letter to Him.

New Zealand

2010-07-20T06:59:00.000-07:00

Well, kinda of disppointed today.

But I will just keep my fingers crossed.

Perhaps this will be my last trip before I leave my job.

The most important thing is not this trip and I know that.

I wish for my friend, a right and best outcome.
That is the most important.

Longer

2010-07-19T10:53:00.000-07:00

I wished it lasted longer. But alas. Its always just a window...soon it will be closed.

And i know it is for good.

Sigh.

I wish this night just lasted longer.

A God-send thought

2010-07-16T10:10:00.000-07:00

Seeing things through God's view is the best eye to life.

Romans 8:28 reminded me of that.

Though disappointed, God reminded of me His way is always perfect.

As always, He lifts us up with His unyielding strenght with an everlasting love.

His work is so much more undone, lets not leave things undone and may what we do count for eternity.
Disappointment are aplenty, but God's work are also left aplenty.

So what should I be perturbed?

God help me to see my life through Christ's.

This is my prayer.

重写

2010-07-11T10:17:00.001-07:00

今天在家架车时，有一些感想。对于《哀》有了一些回忆。
也把歌词改了一些。
表达。表意。
重写也是重温。

路途是经验。街灯的迷茫，可以让我看的更清楚。
哀中有爱，爱中有哀。

重写才能重温。
走了才能再见。

我记得你那泪珠。
它会永种在我心窝。深深的。

一点心灰意冷

2010-07-06T08:44:00.001-07:00

期望又再失望。。。那是不好受的。

友情的期待。向往的没实现。

一路走着走着。

我说啊朋友啊，你去了哪。失踪了？

你走阳光道，我走独木桥？

愿你回来吧！我已经有那一点心灰意冷。

哀

2010-07-04T09:19:00.001-07:00

刚写完了一首歌，名<<哀>>。早一个礼拜前，也写了一首<<珍重>>。
这两首歌，我相信总结了我在工作与人之间的故事。

路途已经结束了。是再见的时候。天下没有不散的宴席。
我要走了。有舍不得。但不得不走。

The broken string

2010-06-28T08:50:00.000-07:00

I had an old Yamaha classical guitar. The sound is really crisp and clear,a resounding sound that bring harmony to the hearer.

Alas one string is broken. And one knob to the srring is also broken.

In life, things may be harmonious at one but now no longer. I guess I must learn to put things aside and learn another instrument.

People come and go but when you know you had once a good guitar, who once sound so dear, having a broken string is more than just oh dear.

Perhaps a tune that breaks a heart befits the string that breaks the tune.

You can only do so much

2010-06-27T21:58:00.000-07:00

Time is getting shorter. I can only do so much. I can't say much. I can only do so much.

And when everything is finally dusted and over, well I hope we will leave with the knowledge that we had celebrated together this life.

You can only do so much. You dun have to say much.

The footprints may be washed away but the imprints on one's life last a life time.

The string that tug the heart

2010-06-19T08:22:00.000-07:00

In life, there are friends u find that there is a fated affinity.
In life, there are people who pull and tug your heartstrings.
In life, there are people who will have their absence nuture fonder memories.

The rememberance. The decision I have made. I wonder why it is tugging so
heavily this heartstring.

I learn to play the guitar. But to have the heartstring being pulled, it is not learnt, it is felt.

I wish you would say more. I wish I could say more.

And I use strings just to remember more.

Its over

2010-06-17T09:13:00.000-07:00

Just typed my last letter for my Master thesis. The one that my supervisor has edited and I have entered the other stuff..abbreviation, tables, references etc..

Tomorrow I will submit to my examiner and I can file for GRADUATION!!!

It has been 3 long years. Finally.

God is faithful. Thank God for seeing me true.

And my dear friends who has provided support all these years. Thank God for each one of u...

Yeah!

When truth is no longer the foundationn

2010-06-06T02:47:00.001-07:00

Today i felt very ashen. A feeling that i didnt have for a long while.

It was because I never in my wildest imagination see the total decadence of depraved humanity.

When the basis of a Christian's accusation is not founded on truth, then the accusor, the master of lies is the devil himself.

I became a victim of that. Not one but two.

It is sad. Grieving and grieveous.

The heart to believe is dead. Dead and trespassed beyond comprehension. I could not excuse it. I simply can't.

Why forgiveness isnt the issue. Truth is. God is.

The highest court on earth is our conscience. Man cannot judge another man's conscience. Only God can.

I hope I can say I am clear.

I feel grief when God is the only recourse of justice. It meant blindness has envelope the whole situation and only God can shed light.

This incident is as such.

Alone

2010-06-02T10:19:00.000-07:00

Perhaps being alone isnt lonely when u play that chord again and again.

Being exceptional.
There is a recurring tune. One that was first heard in a plane one September in 2009.

I have penned those words. I have wrote the tune. Yet it is song best remembered without the lyrics. I have placed all the lyrics in the tune and so the tune speaks yet silent

Isnt that true. A lot of things in life and gone silently.

Yes I will regret. But at lesat if it cause hurt, I would be hurt the most.

Practical

2010-05-23T08:53:00.000-07:00

Keep being told to be practical.

Is there anything wrong in being idealistic? Haha.

Yesterday was driving home and it was really late at night. Witness an accident right in front of my eyes. See one car filtering 3 lanes and drifting right into the car in front of me. Banged..gone. I jammed my brakes, and worried the car behind will slammed into my back.

I was on the speeding lane on CTE. Thankfully nothing happened. Thank God. I was still alert.

Anyway this incident tell me that in life, nothing will go smooth. Things do happen. Ideal or not. Being practical is only 1 means of viewing life. Yup, its logical and perhaps sensible but I feel no compulsion to do things that I should when I don't. I might be getting advanced in years but it should no be the reason why I should waiver and deviate what I have initially set out to holdfast to.

I need convictions. I need resolve. There is no reason not to wait and hope. The thing is that I must know I am really hoping in God.

Being pratical. Does that mean a lack of trust in God.

That is the greater dilenmma.

What a Night

2010-05-19T09:38:00.000-07:00

its strange. but i think i know why.
i understand why.

after next week, i will put a stop. erractic it is.

flustered. sigh..but in life, things are simple and clear and its probably better u understand than try not to.

i know what it all means, just that i have not learnt to accept all that there is.

i heard once, I don't have to ask again.

The weight and the value of God

2010-05-17T10:42:00.000-07:00

If I may pause just for that moment to consider and think that every life actions and thoughts boil down just to this.

The weight and the value of God. The root of our being. The core of our heart. Be it be bitterness or forgiveness. Be it be contemptment or contentment. Be it be frustration or trust. It all comes down to this. The weight and value of God.

I know for some of us. God is of no bearing neither one we are conscious at all. We are careless, irreverential and possibly of no desire to think, neither toward God, a person that we seek to please neither to glorify. We sought to love self and the things of the world. There are some who outward deny God but the more common are those who have a form of godliness but denying the power.

I have spoken to "believing" Christians as Christ has spoken to "believing" Jews in John 8. But as you speak the oracles of God or engage in life simplicity, you somehow get a an overwhelm character of a person who is pre-occupy with self rather than a penchant for the things of God.

I feel that is sad. I consider the weight and the value of God. Paul told Tim in 2 Tim 2:2 to impart truth to those that are faithful.

Perhaps I have done wrong. I wonder why studying of Romans 2 somehow has disturbed my settlement of sharing the word with all diligence. I hope it is simply God telling me something important. Abandonment is not a bad thing. Be focus on the faithful that God may see that His work gets done.

Why have an unconverted ministry where the faithful are neglected. It is far more important to see clay be moulded and moved then for the hardened to be shaped for unless they changed, they remain unconverted.

I consider this is grave and a thought that seriously need a sobering courage and prayer that only God can give that boldness.

Am I right or wrong. Only God can vindicate the path to take.

What's wrong?

2010-05-16T09:18:00.000-07:00

When I read Romans 2 again and again and taught it twice to 2 groups of people, I realise what is true of the Jews is actually true for me and I believe for many.

The work of God's grace. The work of God's word would fluorish only in a heart that desires to love God.

I feel a deep unmovable hardening of heart of some. I wish I hadn't felt that. Because if that is true, then the words that echo from John the baptist, from Christ our Lord and Paul would be true. From brood of vipers, to an unbelieving generation to eventually James who called the Jewish believers adulterers, having a love for the world, that the Word of God has no more an effect on you.

What conclusion can I then make in light of scriptures. It is a frightening thought. It is.

How many are truly saved?

Conscience and morality?

God's word working in our heart? Or our heart are harden that we no longer respond to the word of God. If it is only hardening, then we are at best a unbelieving Jew.

Must I concede that is true? Who would have a zeal for thy house?

Or we just soothing our religious conscience.

God forbid this be true. But if it is, can we even be sober to repent? I dread to think one more second further. God help!

A petal or rose

2010-05-02T08:19:00.001-07:00

Macro or micro. Strumming or plucking.
Life has many many decisions to make. Many.

The heart has many persuasions. You would perhaps not make any decisions because being ruffled isnt the best thought. Change is always resisted. Resistance also stop change.

Decisions and more decisions. Looking at a rose petal is nice. Looking at a rose is also nice. Our view however are often limited.

I like to think God's view are above ours. And he knows every outcome of a man who love His heart, love the beauty that awaits all of us.

He has the rose. A garden panoroma of it.

I just need to trust Him to take my next step.

You have heard of old

2010-04-21T09:07:00.000-07:00

21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder,[a] and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause[b] shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. Matthew 5:21-22

An incident happened a few months back that stirred my mind to remember this passage. A friend of mine said this to me that the reason why she is dating an unbeliever is God love the person like I love the person. My answer is conversely not focus on the man. But rather, do you love God?

Paul rightly said...that whoever confess Jesus as Lord is saved... Lord

Has the bible said of old that God love the world...and He is not Lord? Conversely that is not true. The outcome of God loving the world and saving is that we sin no more as an atitude of life. The healing of the infirmed man in John 5 had Jesus telling him, "Go and sin no more."

I don't think what my friend said is unfamiliar to most. An attention of God's love on us makes history occurs on man. I konw the bible centre on Christ as history. And for if ourr heart is on loving Christ, we are not only historically right but God-centred. Colossians make it excitingly clear,

" 16 For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him. 17 And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist. 18 And He is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things He may have the preeminence." Colossians 1:16-17.

The Lordship of Christ makes a simple response. God love us to have us loving Him back. My friend's response sadly, did not know the love of God in its purity.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

What a tragedy.

Time is almost up

2010-04-16T17:47:00.000-07:00

Time fast clicks away.
Life pass by and vanishes.
A moment never stay.
People come and perishes.

To think time has no friends
Is to be a stranger to history
We have hope for future
but let us know time is never up

We grow old with time
We see age passes by
Let me say time is almost us
By knowing age catches up

Being judge by God and not by man

2010-04-15T16:49:00.000-07:00

12For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Heb 4:12-13

3I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. 4My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. 5Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God. 1 Cor 4:3-5

I realise a very important thing yesterday. I have thought through it. And this are the verses I believe God has pointed me to stand on.

No man is perfect in righteousness and I thank God I am given righteousness instead. The two passage clearly says the clarity of God in judging our intents and our motives. And inwardly, we have a conscience that either accuses us or excuses us. We need our conscience to be invariantly connected to God and that is by the Word of God.

We do not need tirades of our own formed up opinions to be our mind bogglers where our attention truly must be in the courts of heaven where God is the perfect judge of all things for He is the only one that knows all things.

Thank God for His Word that made it plain and simple.

The incident I faced today further resolved the point. We ought to be diligent student of the Word for if our conscience be good accusers or excusers of ourselves, we have had to have this conscience saturated by the Word of God. Not emotions, not opinions, they fail miserably.

Let your life by guided by the Word and you know when you are in that pursuit, you are being judge by God for His Word abides forever.

We really need this.

Tiring

2010-04-13T09:42:00.001-07:00

When you walk that short distance and you do not feel like walking an inch further, you know besides tireness, it is dread.

You know you need that spark to ignite the dousing smoke.
You know you are in need of the sound of not coming shower, but a shower of blessing.

And when all is but dried up, you need to look for the next water hole.

And when you are all but tired, you know rest is ever more a need than before.

I am tired.

A dew would be enough.

Suicide

2010-04-04T11:14:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I reached home around 640pm from my workplace. I have just collected my car from the workshop. Did some minor repairs to my floor board.

I didn't expect a typically normal day to turn so unusual. The police cars, ambulance had surrounded my block. I saw some grim face policemen. I went up from my lift, and peer below the ground from the stairway when I reached my floor. I regret this decision. Someone had committed suicide by jumping. The sight is terrible. The head must have landed first on impact. I would not describe what I saw. And I do hope that with time, this image greatly diminished.

Today, I read in the Chinese papers, the cause of the suicide was chronic depression. The victim, a 40 something woman who have gone missing for a day. A church member had just asked me a few days ago about what is depression and just a day earlier, Pastor had preached about lostness and how Leslie Cheng had committed suicide the same way.

I wonder hard at how people could commit suicide. I was preparing for bible study for Sunday. I couldn't help but see Christ on the cross that day. Depression is a result of sin. The guilt of sin. The despair of sin. The hopelessness of sin. I was studying Romans Chapter 1 and 2 in preparation. And what really struck me is really the gravity and how debased the human mind can get.

I know that depression is a real thing. I have been sad before. But I guess I never lost hope in God. This morning, I saw joss paper and incense. The night before, the images that flashed through the night didn't allow me to sleep well. I knew the victim is not a Christian.

And this morning when I gave the bible study, I asked, Does anyone of us know how ugly sin is? Does anyone know why Christ must suffer many things that even His death is ugly. Because sin is ugly. I saw it for myself the day before. You know we never quite like to stay and think about the ugliness of sin. Man has no natural desire to see tragic, gruesome, gory things. And I can relate to Paul when he paints adject hopelessness of man, Jew or Gentile, but the reality of it is, sin is ugly. Death is ugly. Jesus wouldn't have wept if it is a beautiful thing.

And I know why we often neglect to declare the sinfulness of sin to the sinner. The gospel of God's love can never be fully grasped till the gallows of sin be told in plain, unminced manner.

I still have the images in me.

I watched the Passion of the Christ sometime back. And I still remember the images of Christ on the cross. But I remember more fondly, the image of the glorified ressurected Christ.

Christ is to be adored. There is beauty in the conquest of sin.

He brought many sons to glory.
He is the firstfruit.

Blessed Easter.

Real convictions

2010-03-27T11:33:00.000-07:00

A test requires an outcome. I think that is when true convictions are revealed.

I have witness too many contradictions rather than convictions.

I fear when I put to the test, I would also be contradictions.
Truly it is grace that keeps us.

Unless I tested, would I know that I have contrdictions rather than convictions.
It has been a month since I saw a contradiciton in someone life.

I have been tested on this before. I considered and prayed and decidely saturated my mind with scriptures and overcome it through the grace of God. Didnt make the right decision at the start but God's grace overcome the indifferent thinking I had.

I never saw a reason for God's love till I saw a reason for God's judgement.
When love and mercy meets, I know I can't take grace at love's expense.

Living right is because His righteousnes and nothing more.

I don't bargain for God's righteousness when He doesnt count my tresspasses towards Him. I was given. That must my attitude towards life. I dun ask for grace to sin. I sin not becuase grace was given.

Convictions and not contradictions.
I plead my soul to obey for obedience is better than sacrifice.

Wish could abandon all and go

2010-03-22T22:18:00.000-07:00

it seems so expedient...

to start everything again...

a desperate despair...

would there and could there be a restart?

God moves..

2010-03-21T10:02:00.000-07:00

God answers prayer. There is no doubt about that.
And He moves in mysterious way...divine providence.

I earnestly hope I see more of His hand moving. Sometimes I think I am guilty of prejury. And at times, I dun think I am thankful enough of the goodness that He has bestowed.

The Chinese girls bible study on Sunday has more new people. While Dinghui and Tianren has enrolled in the ID course and opted to go for 2nd service, God has brought in 2 other newcomers to join the bible study. There are finding the bible studies helpful. Thank God for that. Hope they will grow in the Lord. Yuyun has been a blessing. And I pray that the bible study will fortify their faith in God.

Wang Wei has been attending church for some time now. He is Yuyun's friend. He heard the gospel a couple of times but would want to take time to consider Christ as being the true God. Do pray for Him that God will dispel the doubt in him and that he will come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.

Jingbo has been coming to church on and off. His supervisor is very strict with his school hours. I do hope the couple of church coming and the one bible study he has attended will help him to ponder the reality of Christ and the need for divine forgiveness. Pray for him that God will move in his heart to desire to be saved.

Ken has professed Christ last wednesday. By providence, he was the only attendee for the YMCA guitar clasa as the rest were on term break and decided not to come. We had our lesson and after that supper. Ken enquire about the faith and we shared with him what Christianity is about. And at the end, he came to pray and accepted Christ as his Lord and Saviour. He is from a Buddhist family and has not been granted permission to come to church. Do pray for him that he would be able to come to church. We have agreed to have a short bible class after wednesday guitar class. Hope he grow in Christ and his faith be strenghtened under such trying circumstances.

My colleague has also attended the ID class. Quite concerned about her growth, and hopefully the class will help her. Also hope that she find a suitable fellowship group to be part of. My other 2 friends have also decided to join FABRICs. Changing times ahead indeed.

For campus, there are quite a few newcomers. That is good. I do hope among the newcomers, faithful ones will be raised. God always move in a few good men. I do hope that I see men or women with grace and faith being revealed. The Romans bible studies is a monumental book to study. And I hope by the grace of God, this book will be completed. It is going to be tremendous when this bible studies is complete. It is going to life-changing if God breathes power and draws heart towards Godly sorrow that leads to repetance. This book has depth and impart breath in the life of the believer. This is my prayer that God will raise people to respond to the message of the book of Romans. May campus be the preparation ground for us to do battle for God. This is what I hope to see. By the grace of God, it will be done.

My work is piling like crazy. I dunno how I could survive all of this. I echo the cries of Paul though he is always in want, in need. He says this assurance that he can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. He also said that his God shall supply my needs according to His riches. I do hope it come to pass that God will show Himself strong.

Life is not easy. But with Christ in the boat, as the song says, we can smile at the storm.

The tide is changing. God is moving. I am still praying for my future direction. I have an inkling what I like to do. And when God moves, I hope I also move.

God is good. He is. If you read this blog, I hope you join alongside and pray. Thanks.

hold it there..

2010-03-20T01:36:00.000-07:00

if i am not worn by then.....

Heart of the gospel

2010-03-18T07:31:00.002-07:00

16 Thus says the LORD:
“ Stand in the ways and see,
And ask for the old paths, where the good way is,
And walk in it;
Then you will find rest for your souls.
But they said, ‘We will not walk in it.’
Jer 6:16

A reprobate generation needs an awakening of sobriety to realise the true gospel. Israel is of no exception for the God of mercy through His prophet warns ever repeatedly to remember the old path, the path of a faithful generation that obeyed truth and had the favor of God with them.

I have embarked again a journey of discovery. Reading the book of Romans have been refreshing, in preparing for the bible study. I have also studied a topic for months now on worship and is still searching the scriptures and reading. The conclusion i have made is clear. Men who loved the truth would testify that apart from truth there is no worship. Apart from the Spirit of truth, there cannot be worship. Worship doesn't produce truth neither the spirit of God. It is truth and the spirit of God that produces worship.

So I realise the centrality of Christianity (of course Christ is the centre) but with the bible as the source of divine revelation, truth, the word of God takes precedance over everything. This is why I beleive, apart from the bible, the right understanding of everything pertaining to God and consequently, life and godliness would not be proper.

What is the non-negotiables of a church? If Christ says He will build His church and the gates of hades will not prevail, then we have to put our attention to the call. Christ told Peter 2 important lessons. One on the church, the other being to feed the flock. I dun see a difference in tying the two because Paul told Timothy the same, that the church is to be "if I am delayed, you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God's household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth." 1 Tim 3:16.

Woah. The church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of truth. I think its mandated. Paul often told Timothy, a pastor in the Ephesus church to be careful in rightly divide the Word. I think Paul knew the importance for it is the Word of God that is the engine of the church. How we worship, how we conduct ourselves, how we do ministry is formed by the Word. The core of the church, the blaze of the church, the witness of the church is through a deep and thoughtful preaching of the Word and it requires the man to be a Spriit-filled man, who is God-fearing, knowing he handles the Word of life. To be skilled in dividing the Word.

I don't know how many of us really takes a serious view of that. Acts 17 says the noble Bereans hearing Paul preached would search the scriptures to see whether they are so.

This generation is turning sensuous. It is not a generation of yesteryears. The magnitude and multitude of sins prevalent says that lawlessness is at work..and harder. The sins that we read of yesteryear are petty compared to what we read about today. The church regard for truth and a reverential and thoughtful understanding have been replaced by doctrines that tickles the ear. The counsel of God's truth have been constricted to texts that exponded plently of grace, love and mercy. When would be the last time, we heard of wrath, judgement, thirsting of righteousness and holiness? When do you hear the gospel of Christ when He healed the lame, the blind, the adulteress and telling them, "Go and sin no more." We have place believe on Christ and you are are forever saved kind of mentality. That is not the gospel. Christ healed 10 lepers and only one He said..turn to Christ to say a gratitude expression of Thanks was the only one that is truly saved.

Whoever wants to examine again the gospel? Whoever wants to examine the truth? Whoever wants to study true worship again? Don't just jump onto the bandwagon for the sake of doing so.

Examine the scriptures and see whether there is right doing. Truth is timeless. Culture changes. Truth still is timeless.

I think I have exhausted my mental anguish thinking of the decadence of how things are going. Perhaps battle weary but then I have done nothing.

I write this to hopefully to awake ourselves to what Jude says in verse 3 of contending for truth. This generation needs truth. We have turn sensusous. Godliness isn't the in thing. This is true. Think about your lifestyle, your thoughts, your pleasure and you know this thought of Godliness isn't something we endear.

I do hope that I will echo the answer God gave Elijah when he thought he is last faithful remnant that God said to Elijah that He has kept 7000 from bowing to Baal. God keeps the faithful simply God is faithful.

Let us then, discover truth, live out the truth for one sake. For God's sake. For only in this, He will be glorified. That is the truth.

Tired

2010-03-14T08:54:00.000-07:00

been a tiring week...feeling worn..easily my eyes twitch...and I feel so drained..

been encouraged by a few things yet discouraged by even more things..

sometimes I wish i could go to Christ's bossom and end everything that is here..heaven is a far better place..definitely

i do realise that God's strength is ever so needful..for me to endure till ilfe's journey end, except for God as my strength..I dun think I can endure even one second.

the joy of the Lord be my strength...

ECP Catch Report

2010-03-13T08:18:00.000-08:00

hmm...not as good as last week but manage to witness someone (not me :() who caught a huge stingray...haha..though didnt manage to catch one myself..at least someone is happy..

manage to catch a rabbit fish though...this is a new year fish..usually abundant in Feburary in local waters so I am surprised to get one...dining size..so still very happy..

today it rained..though catch would be good..but just 10 over fish..not as good as last week, but nevertheless had fun..just got cold and miserable and drenched at one point..but glad i wore an adidas climate cool...dry in an instant when the sun was up.. :)

stacey and justin also come and try their hand at fishing..

on the whole, thank God for a good day of fishing. He is good.

My biggest catch for the day - a rabbit fish

A few good fish...enuf for dinner..

A huge sting ray - great for bbqing..haha

Huge ray..one day i must also try to catch one.. ;p

Constricted and constrained

2010-03-08T06:33:00.000-08:00

When the welling of tears is no longer on the eyes but in the heart...you know there is a depth of sadness that would be only untold.

It is a second wave of stress. Earthquake aftershocks are usually milder than the first. I do not seem to have any stretch of rest. Its taking its toll and toil.

When perpetual stress and discontinuos stress seizures come, it is worse than having an epilethic fits...the convulsions will stop, but not this when tsunami after tsunami keep coming.

I think the message is clear.

These strivings must cease or there can't be deliverance except that of delirium.

I must stoop not lower, but to make a stand to trust that the brook cherith has dried, and it is compelling, in this constricted and constrained environment, God has wanted me to leave.

It is untenable. Not a matter of endurance. When sanity hangs a thread, I need to swing to know that beyond a greener pasture, lies the stiller water.

I need peace and a longer one. I must have this rest for a season.
Not words. But just rest.

This mind expects deliverance. This mind expects fulfillment. Almost all, joy to delight.

And only one in my Lord would suffice.

I must go.

Fishing

2010-03-06T06:31:00.001-08:00

finally, after years of withdrawal..a bumper catch..not too bad with 4 hrs of work...

oh tamban..u never left.. :p

Alas

2010-03-04T08:03:00.000-08:00

And so did Christ die in vain?

With bated breath and reflections a trough deeper, the thoughts that tenders in images of grace untold, puts me to shame that I haven't press for a life that is more consistently testfying the glory of my Lord.

I bade to say goodbye to self desires but yet it bade me not.

This verse I encountered today gave a cry, " But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. " 2 Cor 4:7

I say I cannot hide. Oh where is this heart beating unlesss a life story told that Christ is the treasure of my life.

Why live for self where there are glories of Christ still to be told?

Romans

2010-03-04T06:37:00.000-08:00

The just shall live by faith.

What a verse of simplicity and beauty. Assault this verse with sin and it beautifully echoes, the just shall live by faith. Try telling it about righteousness deeds for justification, and it smoother the thought away and rings again, the just shall live by faith.

This verse stays and echos.

Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words abide forever.

The just shall live by faith.

Is Godliness the exception and not the norm?

2010-03-02T02:41:00.000-08:00

I think this is a good question. Coz if I may answer it, the answer to me is obvious.
Perhaps it gets clearer if I read the OT. How much of Israel history do we see faithfulness and revival?

Few.

How about the NT church age? I can say that Paul has epistles after epistles correcting errors. And Christ brings charges to the 7 churches in Asia of their errors?

I say Godliness of man comes with 2 right perspective of God. Fear of God and the grace of God.

Let me talk about fear.

I conclude that the fear of the Lord is almost non-existant in Christianity today when our attention is warped towards love and grace. In Luke 12, Jesus confronts the religious gurus of His day, the scribes and Pharisees. No doubt they wield great power and influence, Jesus pointed say to the thousands that are gathered on the real fear man must have. It is not towards man. He says to the masses, "Fear Him who is able to destroy both body and soul!"

Jesus pointed brings us what we all lack. The lack of fear for God. The fear for men is natural and its constantly a snare.

Every wonder why none of us pursue holiness and thirst for righteousness? The lack of fear, a reverence for Jehovah God.

How about grace?

John Piper says he approves of 2 man in the bible. Saul (Paul) approved Stephen of his stoning. Both are examples of grace. Stephen displayed courage to speak for God and hence stoned. Saul displayed murderous zeal and was converted by Jesus on the road of Dasmascus displayed God's deliverance of his murderous ways to become the most effective minister of the NT ever. Paul showed grace. Grace that God can transform any man to fear Him as a mark of grace.

I don't want to put fear in a negative light. Hence I want to describe that Stephen being bold fears God. Paul being bold fears God. They fear that they do not demonstrate what the grace of God has given to them that they live a life that demonstrates bestowed divine grace.

I shudder to think that if a person sees grace and not sees fear. The absence of one or the other brings licentiousness to sin as Jude writes in his short epistle. Fear without grace stops us from doing anything for God. Grace without fear stops us from doing anything "right" for God. Taken together they are important. What moves you?

I hope we see fear and grace together. I hope fear drives you from sin. To live holiness and righteousness and grace drives you to sinners to tell them of the fear of God and the grace that is available.

Is Godliness the exception and not the norm. Yes it is. Coz not many see fear and grace together.

I hope you do.

Response

2010-02-28T15:23:00.000-08:00

You have trodden underfoot the gospel of grace.

Do not step on grace coz it is grave.. And this where most of us have done that.

Alas, the fear of man brings a snare, but without the fear of God, it brings a snap to your walk with God.

Yesterday, someone asked me a question that if you have the fear of God, what do you gain?

You gain to fear nothing else.
A higher fear overcomes a lesser fear.

Do not tread on grace, it too will bring a snare and a snap.

坚持

2010-02-28T09:16:00.001-08:00

此刻的感慨。。。。

坚持

我知道我孤独
我明白什么叫做爱
我追求一个梦想
能和孤单永远告别

继续奋斗
急需的拥有
继续迈向
享有的未来

我在乎不再孤独
我想执着的坚持
不会萎缩我答应自己
一定要不断池前进

Who cause the baby to cry?

2010-02-27T09:06:00.000-08:00

Who cause the baby to cry?

Life is a journey. And the mind is its compass.
Whatever we want to think, it can direct us to think a certain way.

Well, sometimes correctly, sometimes wrongly.

At the end of it, it is not the right or wrong we think. Imagination of the mind is powerful yet it lacks.

Yet the true way to discount this fallacy is to seek obedience. The hardness yet the surest thing to still do right.

But man's heart is weak. And it is only and only by God's grace that we are kept. A fragile man and a gracious God.

Who cause the baby to cry?

Dun place bets on our thinking but seek God for that grace to do right.

It is true. God's grace is sufficient. Lean on that.

Too old for good

2010-02-23T03:35:00.000-08:00

Some people says that being old is gold. Maybe I beg to differ.
But I wonder as well.

Does being old mean you are more adverse to failure rather than trying? Some say when one is young, you get adventurous and you try, not afraid of failure.

Perhaps I feel the stakes too high to try?
But time is exhausting itself, isn't it?

I wonder how long before I can reconcile everything I am thinking? Why not put in a shot down the alley and see what is the outcome.

Rather than not rolling the bowling ball down the alley and have no pins being struck? Even if it hits the gutter, at least you know and you learn.

Haha, easier said than done.
And being older as I said this.

Hmm..

O Church Arise

2010-02-16T06:45:00.000-08:00

I think this is a marvelously written hymn by Stuart Townsend and Keith Getty. There are the authors for "In Christ Alone". And truly this is another master piece.

Have been fretted by some thoughts as I poured through the bible and this song comes so aptly. In the age of differing opinions and self-taught mentality, it is refreshing that a song written in this age to be so biblical in its lyrics.

The church as Paul tells Timothy to remember must be the pillar of truth that is to be the heart of worship. Forget about sentimentality and emotionalism that drives worship. Truth alone in worship bring out a sanctified emotion which is acceptable to God. Paul says in Col 3:16 " to let the words of Christ dwell richly...in psalms and spiritual song" And the richness of this song in displaying the richness of our standing in Christ, the church standing in Christ..just brings out the display of His glory. Truth encourages. Worship is in truth and in spirit.

This song has done both.
Would like to introduce this song to campus one day :)

O church, arise and put your armor on;
Hear the call of Christ our captain;
For now the weak can say that they are strong
In the strength that God has given.
With shield of faith and belt of truth
We’ll stand against the devil’s lies;
An army bold whose battle cry is “Love!”
Reaching out to those in darkness.

Our call to war, to love the captive soul,
But to rage against the captor;
And with the sword that makes the wounded whole
We will fight with faith and valor.
When faced with trials on ev’ry side,
We know the outcome is secure,
And Christ will have the prize for which He died—
An inheritance of nations.

Come, see the cross where love and mercy meet,
As the Son of God is stricken;
Then see His foes lie crushed beneath His feet,
For the Conqueror has risen!
And as the stone is rolled away,
And Christ emerges from the grave,
This vict’ry march continues till the day
Ev’ry eye and heart shall see Him.

So Spirit, come, put strength in ev’ry stride,
Give grace for ev’ry hurdle,
That we may run with faith to win the prize
Of a servant good and faithful.
As saints of old still line the way,
Retelling triumphs of His grace,
We hear their calls and hunger for the day
When, with Christ, we stand in glory.

Words and Music by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend
Copyright © 2005 Thankyou Music

A new song

2010-02-13T02:40:00.000-08:00

The Passion of Christ sure left a lot of images in my head. Yes it is ugly. Sin is ugly. Dying for sin is ugly. Suffering in the hands of sinful men is ugly. The cross, the crucification is ugly.

Till Sunday morning came, and the stone was rolled away. The crucified Christ was risen. What a joy that morning must be.

And the soul must arise to sing praise for Christ is risen.

It is with such an image that I pen this song, "Arise" Hope our soul will be reminded if death would not sting Christ, He being the firstfruits, the firstborn for all of us will also not taste death when our time come.

Take joy in that :)

What is in the head?

2010-02-08T07:21:00.000-08:00

3 A man's own folly ruins his life, yet his heart rages against the LORD. Proverbs 19:3

I dunno what could be worst than to think wrongly all about God and yet have a rage against the Lord

I dunno what could be worst than to think we can cheat sin and believe that God doesn't know even that little one.

I dunno what could be worst than to continue in sin and believe that we are saved no matter what.

We are man, made of unredeemed flesh. Our carnal nature.
There could be only fear in the presence of this great enemy, our sure defense cannot be in of ourselves.

The weakness of our warfare towards principlalites, rulers and dominion of this world. How weak we are.

The assaults of life are tremendous. I do feel miserable at times Sometimes I again felt helpness.

The days have fleeted by. The hours are long gone. When I long at the horizon, the word deliverance seeming look more and more distance As the Psalmist puts in 121:1 "Whence would my help come?"

Sometimes we feel lost and naturally so. I feel likewise. In the struggle against sin, against the sense of aimlessness and lostness, you feel you want the ultimate desire to be happy. It is just so natural.

Yet there is that waiting. What fills my head is important coz a wrong think could set my heart in a rage against God.

I dunno why that happens but it had.

If only repentance could come easy and stay easy, it wouldn't be a warfare.

I must keep my mind pure and have hope for He who has this hope purifies himself.

I can't think anything worst to have what in the head that set your heart raging against the Lord.

I really dunno.

Fleeting

2010-01-27T10:05:00.000-08:00

34 and still counting. Hmm...
38 and still growing. Leaning..

U have to make things happen. I was told.
Yup I have to make things happen.

Pray.

Life seems fleeting but prayers sends the fleet of cries to God who sends
His fleet of help to your side.

What more could I ask. Psalms 121:1-2 reads, "I will lift my eyes to the hills from whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth."

If God made this dominion, be sure He can dominates all of life's circumstances.

The apostles learn this lesson, for in temptous wind, they were sore afraid, when Jesus rebuke the winds and it went ....peaceful.

Toss? No. Turn. Yes. To Jesus.

Truth

2010-01-18T09:59:00.001-08:00

it has been a long time...still the end is not yet.

well, i am casting that aside at least for now..been thinking of some other things and deeply perturbed.

Jude 1:3a..contend earnestly for the faith...recently i came across something that it is so monumental, and I feel that God has shown me beyond any doubt that this is the truth.

I heard a sermon by John MacArthur who says this,"be a student of the bible and laid down convictions..from there onwards you will develop affections."

How true. Jesus said these remarkable words when He saw the temple turning into a den of thieves and said,"the zeal of thy house has eaten me up."

How I wish I have such affection for God that I can see truth and boldy declare truth without the fear that I offend man.

I need grace, much needed grace.

Truth must stand tall. Fads and trends come and go. The infallible Word of God has always stood the test of time because God has never change, neither His Word will. Jesus said rightly,"Heaven and earth will pass away but the Word of God abides forever."

Amen.

A Living Sacrifice

2010-01-16T09:31:00.000-08:00

I have bought "Passion of the Chirst" DVD in US a few years back. Never had the courage to watch coz heard it is gruesome. Especially this one is uncensored.

But last night, I didnt know why I just couldn't sleep. I saw the DVD, still unwrapped...and decided to watch it..been 5 years..

So I did..and lo..it is so heartwrenching...I know Christ suffered more..this movie even though well-made can never never show the full extent of Christ's suffering..Scripture description is full beyond the fabric of human comprehension of His suffering.

But as I look a tthe images of suffering..it is indeed heart stopping. To suffer in the hands of sinful men cannot weigh any heavier than to bear the weight of sins that God has poured His wrath on Him.

The ending of the movie is beautiful, almost serene. The resurrection of the GLORIFIED CHRIST.

After watching the movie..I penned some thoughts...and it slowly it became a song..I titled it "A Living Sacrifice". Coz really seeing what Christ has done..why shd I live for self and not for Him. The ugliness of sin bring His death, then what must be a beautiful life, it must be living for His righteouness.

A Living Sacrifice
When I gaze upon the crucified Christ
Could I coldly look and not know
The anguish He bore for me
Was not for my sins
Then why does He had to die?

Chorus
Christ the lamb of God, the perfect sacrifice
Heaven paid the price with His blood
Christ has laid His Life
Shouldn’t I give to Him
All my life, a living sacrifice.

The veil was torn away, with the Savior in my heart
I was blind but now I see
The joy was set before Him
He’as ran the race before us
Leading us by His faithfulness

Keep Fighting

2010-01-12T04:44:00.000-08:00

1 Timothy 1:18
Timothy, my son, I give you this instruction in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by following them you may fight the good fight,

1 Timothy 6:12
Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

2 Timothy 4:7
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

1st - I want to speak of this fight.

It is amazing the work that Paul does to the life of Timothy. Simply telling him to keep fighting. All of us face moments of discouragement. Timothy, as Paul says, my true son in the faith also faces discouragement but he tells Tim one truth, keep fighting, keep enduring, keep doing right, live out your life to the max, son, keep fighting coz fighting the faith is all that is worth it.

You have taken hold of eternal life. Fighting the fight of faith is the best fight ever. Fights often leave a person bruised, wounded, hurt and in agony. I believe the Christian fight is the same. Yet Paul rightly points out to Tim, you have taken hold of eternal life therefore you can fight. You have taken something that is abidding and eternal. So fight knowing you are never a loser. Great encouragement.

2nd - I want to speak of a fight that is unworthy.

Paul tells Tim to fight a specific fight. The fight of faith. Tim did it. Tim perservere. Tim didnt give in . Sounds like Jesus fight with the devil. The temptations. He never yield nore waiver. And lay before Him is the crown of life.

Do we see this as a fight that is worth it? I sometimes think most of us fight not in the arena of faith but in the arena of fame, of wealth, of the world while the devil hints his temptation without a fight. We don't take flight, neither fight but soon find that we fight for fame, wealth and things of the world and not the fight of faith. The things of the world never profits the soul. This is a fight that is unworthy.

3rd - I want to speak of a fight that is worthy.

I see Paul sums it best. Eternity is a beautiful resting place.

I often hear of Christians saying that they God has called them to a place of work. And I see ugliness in the way they does thing. This is not fight of faith, this is a fight of fame. Misuse of God's calling.

The beauty of fighting the faith comes with the beauty of the rest that you believe in. Faith sees when the breadth of life is taken away. Rather than breathe the sorrow and bitterness of the world, why not breathe the given grace of life and see life's journey as the path to that beautiful rest. So fight. Paul says that with many tribulations, we must strive to enter the kingdom.

So I speak of this fight that is worthy that apostles and saints of old have spoken and leave their mark. Their graves are not decorated with precious stones. But their honor is they depart into the glories of Christ whom they love so endearly.

So is this reward that we fight for.

But I haven't been to the other side

2010-01-04T09:39:00.000-08:00

It is shocking each time I hear of someone passing away abruptly. I speak of one such young man. He passed away suddenly.

I went to his blog..read a fair bit. He is a young man full of aspirations and ideals.

Yet life was snuffed out of him quickly and suddenly.

All of us makes plans and proposals.
All of us have heartaches and difficulties in life.

Is it true that it is more pleasant living than not to?
Some people says life is beautiful. Some will beg to differ.
Some will say I haven't been to the other side.

I read a comment on someone's blog on the demise of the person. "Lucky him, he is in a better place."

If one is going through hardships, that thought of relieve is a relief.

However, I do realise...The cause for living is not to escape that escape is not living either.

The meaning of life cannot be here and now, this present moment or else the meaning of suffering cease. And if living has no meaning, then suffering has no meaning either.

Eternity beyond has a more purposeful end than living. Coz living will end. Eternity willl not. Live for eternity has meaning and suffering then has meaning.

The heart that is set on eternity lives for eternity.

Do I make sense?

A penny for thought I suppose.

A year gone by

2009-12-29T20:55:00.000-08:00

11 “Who is like You, O LORD, among the gods?
Who is like You, glorious in holiness,
Fearful in praises, doing wonders?

12 You stretched out Your right hand;
The earth swallowed them.

13 You in Your mercy have led forth
The people whom You have redeemed;
You have guided them in Your strength
To Your holy habitation.

Exodus 15:11-13

Thank God for the year that has gone by. Countless blessing and this mere human just can't remember everything.

It has been a blessed year. God has taught me countless valuable lessons. I believe He has given me much grace, much wisdom in dealing with many issues.

Thank God for campus. Truly towards the end of the year, there has been glimpses of God's hand. And as such I look with anticipation of the new year ahead.

Thank God for the outreach 2 weeks ago. I do pray there are more. I pray that God will in His providence and sovereignity draw unbelievers into campus and bring them into His marvelous light.

Exodus 15 is the song of Moses, sang after the great conquest of the Eygptian army after the parting of the Red Sea and drowning them in one greatest act of nature's greatest miracle to date. The people of God greatly drew encouragement for this evident hand of God. On top of that no nation in recorded history have a mass migration of 2 million people. And God leads.

The mighty hand of God is the greatest encouragement to the greatest number of people. I pray in the new year ahead, may this be true of God in my life and in the lives of the people I know.

I look with great anticipation of what God can do and will do.

May His hand be greatly evident as we march in faith, trusting in God's inherent goodness.

Life is fragile

2009-12-20T07:51:00.001-08:00

U walked in a dense forest and you stepped upon layers of leaves that are piled. Layers of decaying leaves.

These are lifeless leaves. Trampled on.
Life like the leaves are fragile.

I just read a blog, a christian girl, just 21...dignosed with cancer just this year in Apr and this morning, she passed away. She chose her orbituary photo just a few days before.

You read posts of hope of recovery to finally the despairing finale that death becomes imminent and a better end when the pain and suffering grew to its height.

The agony and hope, the despair and pain, the longing for healing and recovery, the road cannnot be described, only endured. The look that was once healthy to a sudden quicken degenerating to a sunken hollow due due to the ravages of chemotherapy.

I wonder why, does one have to suffer such intense pain and see the ultimate end as death.

Life is fragile. Suffering if I describe as transient seems to trivalise the pain this girl went through.

Sigh.

The pain and hurts she has endured is never something I can experience.

God as our end. That is what I feel gave her hope.

If it is not God as the end of her destination in this difficult journey, I cannot envision a hope that keeps her.

Life is fragile. Remember your Maker. There is no mistake.

Lord, prepare me to be a sanctuary

2009-12-20T05:25:00.000-08:00

An incredibly reflective song..incredibly...

Weakness for strength

2009-12-17T17:44:00.000-08:00

We often doesn't recognise the sinfulness of sin. The flesh has an allurement that sits itself to overwhelm the whole faculties of human existance with its dominion and its subtle assaults are often steath and silent.

Paul says in him dwell no good thing, meaning he is filled everwhere within himself, the vast influence of sin.

Yet Paul had an evidence of life that is consistently Christ.
Obedience is his life and trust in His life.

This worship is essential for overcoming the flesh. A thirst for His righteousness and a call to holiness of life.

It is a call to mourning and battle. A battle to abandon this no good thing with the Christ's victory with the presence and power of God with you. What better motivation do you need? An exaltation of Christ above all is that key that you must consistently open by the grace of His spirit to allow that wrestling with sin to be conquered by His calvery work of mortifying sin.

Would you, would you allow that?

Reflections - Tim Janis

2009-12-06T21:12:00.000-08:00

I think this music piece is absolutely brilliant...there is grandeur, serenity and yes reflective...so aptly named as "Reflections"!

Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

A new song

2009-11-30T20:36:00.000-08:00

I am supposedly to be writing my thesis..but ended up writing a song. Been listening to the Rose a fair bit and reminded of some verses in Isaiah 42:2-4, which reads:

2 He will not shout or cry out,
or raise his voice in the streets.

3 A bruised reed he will not break,
and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.
In faithfulness he will bring forth justice;

4 he will not falter or be discouraged
till he establishes justice on earth.
In his law the islands will put their hope."

The same text was spoken of by the Lord Jesus Christ in Matthew 12:19-21, which says:

19He will not quarrel or cry out;
no one will hear his voice in the streets.
20A bruised reed he will not break,
and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out,
till he leads justice to victory.
21In his name the nations will put their hope."[a]

After read these verses, I wrote down some words and thoughts and eventually it became a song as I put a tune to it. Thank God for this song coz it is truly a comfort especially in this trying time when I am rushing to complete writing my thesis in impossible time. Today I finally finished the required section and would be submitting to my supervisor later today. I am so glad and thank the Lord for His enduring grace and guidance. There is more to be written but I am grateful as it is now :)

I will do a recording when time permits...Here are the lyrics.

I Will Praise Him

His love can flood the gentle reed
The bruised soul He will uphold
He lights the smouldering wick
As we put our hope in Him

His strength can lead the weak
The blind was made to see
He wipes the tears of despair
As we put our trust in Him

Chorus
I will praise Him, I exalt Him
I will sing. His wondrous works
again
I will lift my voice, I will live
To show the Lord is my
love song

His Spirit searches my heart
The pain He comfort and heals
He leads every trial to victory
As we put our hope in Him

His wisdom commands my way
The path to take, He will lead
He is the beacon in the darkness
As we put our trust in Him

There is something more

2009-11-24T21:40:00.000-08:00

The quest for joy. The quest for happiness.

The quest to be satisfied.

The journey of a road that I feel is coming to an end. Finally what has been a shadow casting over is coming to an end.

It is welcome. I have made many plans yet I realise that I haven't really resolve in fulfilling something I have set out to do many years ago.

That should be a priority.

When the yearning of the heart has once asked for One, now is subtle suggest a quiet rebellion, it is best to look and ask, whether my passion is all that genuine or it is a result of stress and now being delivered, the sinful, carnal aspiration takes its occasion to cast a seed of distraction.

Life is short.

Decision therefore come a long way.

There is something more to this life. I tell myself and I must I must by the grace of God walk that road which is less travelled yet a quest towards joy.

Only Christ Himself is the answer. Nothing else.

A conversation with a older man

2009-11-16T05:11:00.000-08:00

it is always refreshing..to talk to someone who has been through life's road simply longer.

u dun hear theology. u hear life. Wisdom and experience.

from a christian brother who been through and knows the struggles of life. the real pain than to tell you the ideals.

well, i saw the real need of prayer after that.

life is honestly so intensely difficult, and really there is no i think of it, so i do it, quick fix solution.

neither just a quote, a verse that will give you that immediate solution.

really all of life can only be upheld by that air of dependence in the midst of despondency, to trust in God. To trust is really to pray ever more unceasingly so that in the storms, in the billows, you are infinitely and definitely aware, and you gasp and grab, the reality that God is there.

thank God for a older brother's advice.

And Can it be that I should gain an interest in my Saviour's blood

2009-11-10T06:13:00.000-08:00

Emmanuel's blood intrigues me. Emmanuel's rest inspired me. The load of life is getting heavier by the day and I look forward to that heavenly rest.

All is well so sing my soul. It is well with my soul.

The clutches that I think I hold are not worth its weight for the wing of righteousness we Lord give to those who seek to be under.

The day shall come where faith are all but turn to sight.

When glory shall not be what I desire to see, but I will be in His glory.

Some day, I would look back and say indeed grace has led me thus far and now has led me home.

Till then, now is hope that purifies my soul.

A time for everthing

2009-11-08T20:02:00.000-08:00

Mark 11:13
Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs.

Ecclesiastes 3:1
[ A Time for Everything ] There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:

Song of Solomon 2:12
Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land.

Proverbs 20:4
A sluggard does not plow in season; so at harvest time he looks but finds nothing

As I pour through verses to find out what the bible says about doing the right thing at the right time, I get a sense of the ability to know when to do the right thing is of paramount importance.

The outcome could be infinitely different if wisdom is applied. Right doing in right timing results in right outcome. Of course this wisdom must be of God, for in the book of James tells us to ask of wisdom from God. Especially timing. I believe time is in the abosolute control of God. His soveriegn arrangement is far more beautiful than any human conception of running ahead or behind yet the verses tell me this, lets discern the time for the days are evil. That is being able to see the hand and work of God when we enter into the plough in whatever we do. Be it be ministry, relationship, decision making, work....everything must be done at a time that is most apt for the season.

I cannot disagree more having seen seemingly right things done at wrong time. I may have patience but without wisdom it is still foolishness. And dun be fool when even everything seemingly looks right, but if readiness isn't, then it is wise to think wait and discern. A peaceful heart that is set on God moves upon the hand of God's moving.

The Rose (Guitar Instrumental)

2009-11-03T07:08:00.001-08:00

The way this guy plays simply blows my mind away...and melts the listener's heart like a chocolate fondue...simply enchanting and amazing...

The Rose

2009-10-31T07:18:00.000-07:00

I heard this song for the first time on the plane which is the theme song for the
movie April's Bride...I only realise later it was originally sang by Bette Midler, and many artistes had sang this song..in fact I found it had been sang by 8 different artistes. It is a lovely song and I could only find one not sang by Bette Midler but by Emi Fujita, she sang beautifully. The lyrics itself is exceptionally lovely.

Love of such statue and beauty. If you reflect deeper, God made man in His image, if such is the capacity of man's love, we ought reflect the most perfect love God is. Love sacrifices.

Hope you enjoy the song :)

The Rose

Some say love it is a river
That drowns the tender reed.
Some say love it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed.

Some say love it is a hunger
An endless, aching need
I say love it is a flower,
And you it's only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken,
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live.

And the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long.
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong.

Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that with the sun's love,
In the Spring becomes the Rose

The Rose - Emi Fujita

Hey got a Chinese translation..pretty cool..

The Rose ──若是爱。

有人说爱是一条河流，
带着甜蜜和苦涩怅然的流向往昔。
有人说爱是一把刃，
会在灵魂上，留下伤口。
有人说爱是需要，
无论何时何地。
我说，爱是一朵花，
而你，是唯一的种子。

心如此易碎，
却从未停歇。
这是一个关于成长的梦，
直到你学会包容和付出。

夜晚总是那么孤独，
这条路一直那么长。
但只要你相信，
爱，是唯一的救赎。
只有经历了痛苦，
才会懂得坚忍和珍惜。

谎言的种子，
会在阳光的照耀下，
成为，下一个春天。

To walk where you won't walk

2009-10-25T22:17:00.000-07:00

Inertia is a bad thing.

Because even things are not right, to decide to change seems ardous.
Unless the change is forced upon becuase the way things are becoming are unbearable.

This is my current situation. And because of the need to know liberation from stress and all, I realise that unless I uprooted from 8 years of routineness, my life would be predictable and the doldrums of things would persist.

My desire to see change is weak. But the push to depart from this difficult circumstances is getting greater. Hence I have decided to move.

This is difficult but necessary.

To walk where you won't walk.

没有说的话

2009-10-24T10:56:00.000-07:00

Struggling with Faith

2009-10-22T08:24:00.000-07:00

it is a strange things how strange thoughts could come about. I wanted to believe that is a spiritual attack and I believe it it.

Circumstances make you think in a certain direction.

Faith is not sight. I find that is the most amazing thought to have. When things are not happening right, when you do not see things right, your thoughts trickled to doubt. That is where I believe I have headed.

With every wrong direction, there is a need to gain back a right direction.

God points the sign and I must head the right way. The highway to faith again.

Hmm...It is a pertinent need. The necessary need. Struggling yet not despaired. Thank God for that.

It is in this doubt that the confidence in God will eventually bring me out of this.
I must understand all things work for good to those that love Him.

Though the devil commands all thoughts of evil, you shall worship God and Him alone. I will never turn stones to bread, for Christ is the bread of life. Listen to the devil, or succumb to the thoughts belonging to the flesh will reveal only a heart of stone. Eat of Christ's meat (bread) and drink His blood (salvation) and I shall He is risen in me. Hope is not far, hope is near in God.

Thank You.

April's bride

2009-10-18T10:19:00.000-07:00

I dun usually shed tears but watching this movie on the plane changed that. The movie was based on a true story.
Story line is simple. A normal couple who met thru' work got into dating and both fell in love with one another. Girl was diagnosed with breast cancer. Having saw what her mum who died of ovarian cancer went thru in the course of her treatment, she did not want her boyfriend to witness the ordeal. She broke off and run away.

Her cancer got worst to the point she has to cut away her diseased breast. Her boyfriend soon found her recuperating by the sea. The girl didn't want her boyfriend to see her go thru' her fight with cancer but soon was convinced by her boyfriend's sincerity.

They battled the disease together. In the course of her deterioration, she was soon diagnosed to have a month of her life left. She was slowly slipping away. Her usual smile turned into agony of pain as the cancer spred to her body. Her friends told her boyfriend her child-hood dream was to be a beautiful bride in Summer which happens in June. But knowing she would not be able to wait till June. It was April. Her boyfriend arranged a church wedding for her. Though weak, she was elated to being the bride. It was a day of joy and she was touched by her boyfriend's love for her. A few days later, after being a bride, she died.

Her character was one of strength. During her treatment, she got the TV crew to film her ordeal and made an appeal to people to go for constant medical screening for breast cancer. Even if one is young, they is no gurantee that you would be h the next vicitm. She made also a recording for her boyfriend, thanking him for his undying support for her. A recording that would only be passed to him after she has passed away.

It was teary. It was touching. The protrayal of the treatment, her detrioration, her family and friends support really displayed the ravages of what cancer can do. Above that was her boyfriend undying support for her. He stood by her and fulfil her every lifelong wish. She couldn't fulfil his, to be the lovely wife and mother. Yet her boyfriend didn't mind that. It was a love unconditional.

I wrote a song with the emotions that was etched. There is another side to it. It is a true story. I hope there isn't any dramatisation.

Love is to be celebrated. The ending is sad. But does anyone need to make an inquest of the power of love, I think this story showed it clearly.

Love can only be celebrated. Love brings hearts close. And with a test like this, only refines the love to be real. Like real gold, only through fire is the mire purged that whatever that stands become all the genuine, all the precious. Love is more precious than gold. Gold can be bought, love can't.

This indeed is a great movie.

For the record, I watched it again on my return flight.
The tears were no less.

Departure lounge

2009-10-07T17:47:00.000-07:00

As I sit right in front of the plane, the nose of the plane facing me directly, perhaps by less than a hundred metres, I can't help but think of the amount of work that is still undone. Yet again the thought of flying away somehow alleviate that thought.

Going to US is never an enjoyable trip, simply it is long and arduous. The only comfort I can get is that it is a SQ flight.

I do miss Singapore. Perhaps it is the sights and sounds. But I think mostly, the people.

Japan is having typhoon. Thankfully or not thankfully, it struck the south coast not the north where the plane would be making a transit landing. A part of me wished I did not have to make this trip but another part says, go, take the rest. Bipolar disorder, is that a sign? Haha...dun think so, seems so exagerrating. But really, time always seem to press itself against what is available.

Liverpool has been on a losing streak recently. Rightfully so. Given the strength of squad. Its form also dismay. The team that gives its supporters a longsuffering feel. Dread bbut yet loyal. Why? I sometimes ask. Perhaps that dodgy spirit in them that keep tell me "Dun give up, they made it one day"

Supporting Liverpool has taught me something about life. Hope.

Hope keeps a person.

45 min more, I would be going. Hope will keep me.

And I believe that Hope places a person to live on no matter what life becomes or becomes not.

Hang on.

The pride of life

2009-10-06T09:53:00.000-07:00

13 Then one from the crowd said to Him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.”
14 But He said to him, “Man, who made Me a judge or an arbitrator over you?” 15 And He said to them, “Take heed and beware of covetousness,[b] for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses.”
16 Then He spoke a parable to them, saying: “The ground of a certain rich man yielded plentifully. 17 And he thought within himself, saying, ‘What shall I do, since I have no room to store my crops?’ 18 So he said, ‘I will do this: I will pull down my barns and build greater, and there I will store all my crops and my goods. 19 And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years; take your ease; eat, drink, and be merry.”’ 20 But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul will be required of you; then whose will those things be which you have provided?’
21 “So is he who lays up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.”
Luke 12:13-21

1Now there were some present at that time who told Jesus about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mixed with their sacrifices. 2Jesus answered, "Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans because they suffered this way? 3I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish. 4Or those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them—do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem? 5I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish."
Luke 13:1-5

Jesus gave these 2 parables back to back. In my own opinion, it is a very sharp rebuke towards our very INDIFFERENT atitude towards God. Very indifferent. We will tomorow laid on a golden platter. We need to change that mindset.

Many disasters has struck in recent weeks and it seems like one huge tsunami, disasters one after another. Jesus had said when you see earthquakes...natural calamities, He says these are birth pangs that my return is imminent.

When Jesus returns, repentence would not be permissible but judgement.

My friend, if you would to see all the disasters around, scores of bodies dead, and you assume that life will go on, think again to the thousands who thought likewise would have their life snuff out suddenly abruptly.

Let not kid ourselves. Life is fragile. Face it.
Our hearts and mind are bent towards sin. So unless you press yourelf to believe, and have faith that indded we are in the very real LAST days. The stage seems set for Christ imminent return. Too many signs, and if God willing the rapture could come soon.

Meanwhile I hope you take a moment to reflect, is life all to it about festives, travels and being alive?

The soul seeks answer and till you reoncile God who is spirit, you will find that you act as a headless person, seeking but not finding becuause yo sought not God Himself. God deals with you spiritual and also physically in His provision. Yet a tthe end of us, we can experience the love of God and with grateful heart, say "Thank you My Lord."

我要学会怎么满足

2009-09-30T09:14:00.000-07:00

Yesterday night, I pen a new song. And completed it. Something that I haven't done for a long time.
The lyrics were simple to write simply it just a reflection of what was in the heart and mind.

It has been an amazing 2 weeks. Surreal. But reality has finally reconciled itself.

Hence this song, written I hope is a monument to remember this 2 weeks and perhaps an advice to myself to be contented. To be appreciative just the way things are and not to yearn for beyond.

Simplicity itself has its beauty.

As the song say "我要学会怎么满足". Even as friends with friends, this song speaks about the most beautiful thing you can have for someone, is to wish the person the best and learn to be contented, no matter what the future may hold for each one of us.

I love this song. I really do...haha..

定为胜，摇为败。

2009-09-29T10:42:00.000-07:00

定为胜，摇为败。

If

2009-09-28T09:08:00.001-07:00

If one's heart could be an open book, it would be easier to decipher what is going on? Or is that good?I probably can't reconcile honestly what I was thinking today but then again it is probably the most honest thing I did. A man who cannot control his spirit is like a city without his walls....What I think, what I feel, doesn't mean that I should do as a result of what I think or feel. But to curb is always the hardest thing to do.

Perhaps that is when the mind rule over the heart. Perhaps I have crossed the barrier.

If only my heart is an open book, then I can read and think of this book whether it is a good book. But is kept and close. And probably that is why I erred in many ways.

Well, another learning curve, admist a difficult one.

Editorial time.

A hot coffee

2009-09-27T21:02:00.000-07:00

this noon time, at lunch, having a cup of coffee..feeling rested...
the goodness of God is something worth meditating on...

too much internal turmoil recently...and just reflecting on the goodness of the Lord and having that thought that God still knows best is comforting.

When you want to think beyond what you can think, it dawns upon you that you are after all human and God's thoughts, God's ways are not our ways...

We return as dust but God made these dust that we are....definitely He is infinitely higher and greater than we are...

To be resting in His absolute wisdom is the peace that surpasses all understanding and the peace of God shall guard your heart...

Things will and can work out. I just have to keep trusting God...there isn't another way... for it will then be my way...

Thank God.

Lifebook

2009-09-27T02:01:00.000-07:00

As busy as I am, it dawned upon me this week with all clarity and starkness, the fraility of life...

and perhaps the apathy that we tend to be in or the cares of this world really consume us much..honestly I feel for the most of us, we have indeed build a very callous heart....

the way the world is heading, the whole culture has exalted self and the indifference towards things that are of utmost priority...

if I wake up one morning, not being alive, would I be able to regret I haven't live today...I realise I dun have such a resolve neither a charity to have others live with gladness, in the abode of love..

we care too much for ourselves than for others..I really wish and hope that a heart of charity would be the most beautiful life to live once for that charity brings warmth into the hearts of others and at the end of your life, have charity recognised as the gift of God, of Himself through you...

that is perhaps I think as I gone thru' this week with shock and soberness, a reflection I need seriously to consider...

God soften this heart..I need empathy and not apathy...

Departure

2009-09-15T16:11:00.000-07:00

As I sit at the departure lounge, waiting for my flight boarding, I look at the waiting plane and am glad that I am going for a short break.

It is really a tough year for me. Personally and spiritually.

I recall Paul saying his life is like a tent that he will soon put away. I think I have been too tense, too unable to put things in the right perspective and allow too many things to trouble and complicate matters.

There are many things in my life. Many difficulties. Simplicity can be so beautiful.

As the final lap looms nearer, the welcome breeze of fresh air seems ever so nearer. I am hoping. Quietly hoping.

Things after the horizon, will be the rising sun, with each ray of light, brings hope to the despairing heart.

Thank God, He is always sustaining...

BSF

2009-09-14T06:47:00.000-07:00

after almost 3 weeks of absence, thankfully with a one week break, finally manage to attend bsf tonight...

thank God manage to finish the bsf questions last night..in the wee hrs of the morning..couldn't sleep...double quick..finish in 30 min...never before so fast..
and could contribute to the class tonight...

glad all things worked well..

now finally a break after so much intense late nights...
thank God

finally

2009-09-13T06:49:00.000-07:00

pursuing what I know I must do is the most satisfying...
when you know it is the right thing to do...

to deny what is right is to know that is wrong
to deny how to love is to regret what is true

there can be no denial....

Trilogy

2009-09-12T09:22:00.000-07:00

...

Afterburner

2009-09-09T07:47:00.000-07:00

deifinitely not the namesake of an old game I am playing...

but describing an overly burn out old man..

haha

If I do not love Christ, I have nothing...

2009-09-07T10:29:00.000-07:00

I count all things as loss, that I may gain Christ.

I believe anyone who holdfast to what Paul's conviction and life model is...he will be a remarkable man.

Gaining Christ.

Drawing to God can only get nearer and still near. And only still nearer. Jesus healed the man at John 5 so that as Christ puts "that he go and sin no more". This is what John Piper preached on last week.

Holiness, he says is not an option, it is a must. As he warned the man in John 5, "Lest something worse happen to you".

Sobering, doesn't it.

What God wants to say is this, that the pursuit of holiness is a necessity to every Christian. Gaining Christ is nothing more that loving God by setting yourself apart for God, that is to pursue holiness.

The pursuit of holiness is the "lifest" way of living.

If I do not love Christ, I have nothing. I think it is in Hebrews 12, that it reads a verse "Without holiness, nobody shall see the Lord".

So I believe apart from holiness..setting yourselves wholy and only to God is the surest pathway and the only pathway to gaining Christ. Or else you have nothing, this life or the life to come. It will all be burned up.

Morning comes

2009-09-02T15:19:00.000-07:00

Unknowingly.

Just woke up exceptionally early today. Its 6.20am. Still thinking.
Arrgh. Things are clear but I believe we cloud our thoughts with our hearts.

Need wisdom and direction.

I shall go to the place where wisdom and direction is best found.

Going to that edge

2009-09-02T09:02:00.000-07:00

It is hard often to concur reasoning with emotions. I heard a song on radio the other night that says "Follow your heart" Music and songs are powerful reflections of what is stirring the human heart.

There are only about 2 weeks left. Will reasoning or my heart rule?

I am in dilemma cause there are things I have considered. Rationally, I think a "No" should be more inclined. But if it is emotionally, I believe I would just follow what my heart says and do it.

There would be so many implications, so many complications if I would think hard rationally.

Yet if I go for the rule of heart, nothing of these would be par excellence in consideration.

Just which to choose?

Bridge

2009-08-30T08:03:00.000-07:00

In more than a month, I would be visiting the grand canyon.

Ever wonder, crossing the canyon without aid would be extremely difficult, consider the gap is not in centimetres, neither in metres..butin kilometres.

Tonight, I witness one cross-over. Been over a week, and finally at the 8th attempt, finally my experiment worked. Finally the protocol that I am trying desperately to work, worked without hitch.

The results are tremendous. They were fantastic. No voice have gladness can express how relieved I am.

Without aid, indeed would be extremely difficult. Thank God for guiding thru' this week.

Tired I am. Drained I am. But deep witihin, I am only glad that God has been leading all the way.

Thank God.

期待的“天堂”

2009-08-26T10:08:00.000-07:00

我一向认为华语是我最能表答的语言。不是英语。
每一刻，感触最多时，都认为它能给我最深的明白。
最近写了一首歌，名为“天堂”。
词的内容已经想好，只是没有写下来。
人的情感路上，往往有一些幻想，有时只能盼望，不能祈求。
有时有缘却无份。
词里面，我有写，
“你在我的心里画上美丽彩虹，
我想为你写满每个云朵
你的名字。你的出现带来温暖的气息”
这也许是人间所期待的“天堂”。
只能盼望，不能祈求。
等吧。

Timid Love

2009-08-26T03:55:00.000-07:00

That hesistancy. That fear. That undecisiveness.
Sigh, all too familiar...all too fearful.

The outcome is all the same, the nervousness, the uncertainty.

Maybe that is my situation. Just overwhelmed by the weight of things.

Perfect love cast away all fears.

Alas for this love that is all too timid.

Torn

2009-08-23T09:17:00.000-07:00

Life could have just been simpler. Simpler and simpler.

Today watched up. A line by the old man, "I remember all the things especially the boring ones." He spoke of the times he have had with his dear wife who have since departed.

This old man speaks wise words. Simple and simpler brings real contentment.

Personally I feel it takes one who have been through a thunderstorm in the big open sea to feel a calm habour enchanting. One who been through a turbulence in a plane would love the clear blue sky.

The gradient of contentment is less steep and gently requires only a little to be happy.

Three years isn't a short time but I am glad I learn to see contentment in the simplest of thing.

There are much dilemma. I feel I have always complicated things. Perhaps it is the stress, the frustrations with the outcome of certain, wrong decisions and perplexed siutation that have clouded my view of things.

Torn it is. Caught unawares it is. Stressed it is.

I have learnt. It would have been now that I see the simpler things in life is wonderful.

I must learn to be glad in all of life circumstances. Regardless. Rain or shine.

Paddling through life, perhaps a deep breath, a quiet thought, a brief moment to see the horizon and know tranquility and calmess of mind is all of itself glad. I must learn to be glad.

Let the yesteryears go. There are road ahead I haven't travelled.

God is right beside. The highest and deepest of fear. May His wisdom always be my sufficiency. Let me learn Your way as You make the way. You will lead Your people to still waters, finally.

The Peril of a Parole not coming

2009-08-19T11:11:00.000-07:00

When I first attended the verdict court session of a murder case, I heard the verdict loud and clear. The judge in concluding his findings gave the verdict.

The accused was found to be guilty and the sentence reads, "On a appointed day, you should be brought to a penal instituition where you will have a noose hang around your neck, you shall be hanged till you die".

These words have no deviation. There lies the sentence of death.

A year ago, I read this particular accused is hanged and is dead.

Does life circumstances present in such a way that we find ourselves in a corner, finding it hard to manoveour, despair of hope and direction?

Somewhat I relate to this feeling especially this week.

I thought of the expression of "the peril of a parole not coming?" This is my heartfelt prayer cry this week. There is a need to trust that God is soveriegn. Deliverance will come.

It is strange that one week, things will going alright, the next everything can go into tatters. A roller coaster of ups and downs. The emotional turmoil is unbearable.

Not to experience a high followed by a abyss of low.

Extremes over a sharp short period isn't for any faint hearted ...let alone a fainting heart.

I suppose I can ask why God? But yet this question has a semblence of doubt. Why do I go from here? God often called us not to know, but to trust.

Perhaps I am learning what is the essence of faith.

Patience has its work. Hardship delivers endurance. Despair purges doubt.

We looked at Job, his suffering abound and for him after his trial of close to death would conclude that his ears used to hear but now they see....means a lot to me. Simple trust in God is never easy.

Simplicity can only come after complexity.

I am perplexed now but simplicity to trust God would come..with the time test run by God.

His clockwork precision would only mean He knows best.

Seem so insurmountable the tasks ahead. I could only mutter a simple prayer. "Help!"

And perhaps that is all that is ever needed to be said.

I trust God has heard.

Thoughts

2009-08-18T09:10:00.000-07:00

I haven't blog for a long time.

Guess too much thoughts drove me to pen down a few things. Felt terribly overwhelmed at work today. Not that I want to pen down specifics but rather a general sense of the torrents of recurring tidal stress.

I long for rest. I long for this to be over. Have been working incessently for the past 3 years. And as the turn of stress approach its billowing heights, loud reminders of the need to fulfil my responsbilities keep echoing.

I write down some verses from Habakkuk 3:17-19

17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,

18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.

Though my situation seemingly look hopeless with the pressing deadline, with every day whizzing back, oozes away each ounce of remaining strength, the emotions draining and desperate, I wish for a silver lining...perhaps only a speck.

Yet that seem more distant than nearer.

And coupled with other thoughts that concerns the heart, I wonder why there is a prisms of problems arriving. Somethings I think this is self wrought but many thoughts and circumstances have arrived unnoticed, unprepared.

My recent trip to Malaysia though a short rest has brought new concerns. Not that I had invited it but it has.

I am in need of wisdom, much wisdom. Verses given in Habakkuk has given me understanding of the ways of God. I know my faith has been deeply wounded. Yet the healing and restoring power is never my own.

As in a pit of miry clay I am in now, I ask only for that divine help, to gain a dip into the still waters of God.

I ask. I seek and I wait. Which will come? None except that Christ provideds comfort.

How long? How long?

That longing of Christ hand. O that my Lord be found faithful. Somehow I know the reason why God is putting me thru all these except the dread and detestable thought I have, I wish for a sip again of that fountain of grace.

O God if you will allow to enter sooner than later, yet You will not relent till grace from you meets the comfort that is required.

A bruised reed, indeed, Thou will not break.

Change is sudden

2009-08-05T07:30:00.000-07:00

That every breath is a sign of living.

Amazing it isn't it? The world still continues as it was. But change is sudden.
A passing shower of happiness can plummet into a sudden grip of grief. Nothing is steadfast on this earth. Change is everywhere and can be at any time.

Being human is fraility and fleeting. Wonder why ever our mind has no solace in its restlessness? Wonder why there is a longing for eternity and an answer.

Look at change and you wonder anything ever last?

I stand in awe of the universe so vast and distance, as I look into a cloudness sky and see the stars... I wonder what is out there?

I look at insurmountable problems of life and wonder what deliverance is all about? Just to overcome problems?

There is definitely eternity written in our hearts.

Ecclesiatis 3:11 says ,"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

I realise a reconciled heart and mind with an unfanthomable God is what brings solace and peace to the heart. That reconcilation is the marvel of God's grace and mercy.

Wonder does anything last? Yes there is. When you find that God is the eternity that should be in the heart of men. Only then is the peace that surpasses all understanding will rule and guard your heart in Christ Jesus...

A fountain of grace

2009-07-28T03:36:00.000-07:00

I remembered going Merchant Court Hotel and had a buffet several years back. It was a huge chocolate fondue. It is massive. Alongside are sticks of marshmellows and strawberries. I remembered sticking the marshmellows in the overflowing liquid chocolate, and lacing it with the richness of the delicious chocolate, realishing the sight let alone the anitcipation of what is more inviting next. To eat it.

2 verses struck a chord when I remember this memories. James 5:11,"As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy." and 1 Pet 1:13"13Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed."

James speaks about preserverance under suffering. Peter writes about being holy and setting yourself apart for God, dedicating and consecreting.

I like both verses. They both speaks about our position in Christ. Full of 3 wonderious truth. We are bathing fully in the Lord's compassion, in His mercy and full of His grace. Therefore there can be delight in the fiercest of storm, in the most mystified of circumstances, in the waves of temptations that billows of pathways. We strive to perserve, to hold fast, to be holy because we are divine reciepients of God's grace, mercy and compassion that have an unending flow.

I do not mind being that strawberry though with a thorn, but still bathing in God's provision. What a thought. A sweet delight. I can set a banquet in the face of my enemies, that is what the Psalmist said in Psalm 23. Indeed. God is greater than any gods, His power never gets overturned, neither His affections, when He has set upon you before the foundation of this world.

My God, our Lord is good. Always and unchangeably so.

A Sea of Red....to be continued

2009-07-26T08:35:00.000-07:00

What a night..the day that Liverpool FC came to Kallang ..and the sea of red..and the red kallang wave...My brother brought his SLR camera..so more pics to follow...mine is just handphone pictures...but it was truly a SEA OF RED...go Liverpool go...

Weather Change

2009-07-19T07:47:00.001-07:00

Strange things have happened nowadays and more common. Weather is really hot.
I read in the papers that this is also the year of El Nino. And it would get worse.
Strange weather.

Doing research on agricultural production, I read more land getting more inarable, meaning, acute food shortage likely to arise in the next 30 years.

I read Matthew 24 just this morning. And I guess, woah...famine on a global scale is going to happen soon. Not Africa countries. But all over the world. Just in South East Asia alone, the padi fields would be badly affected due to rising sea level, more lands would be flooded and the the salt content of soil will also render these areas uncultivatable.

The fish in the world is also depleting at an alarming rate due to over-fishing. Animals are striken with diseases due to modern agricultural techniques of mono-pedigree cultivation.

Famine on a global scale haven't been witnessed. If we read the drastic climatic changes and the current mal-practice of modern agricultural teachniques (in contrast to God's prescribed farming teachinques), a global famine is not far away.

We have seen H1N1 as another testimony of global diseasae outbreak..a pestilence that Christ prophesied in Matthew 24...we haven't seen famine on a global level yet...with such fulfillment on the horizon, it is again another warning..time to be sober-minded. Ezra said, "look at the times" and Nehemiah says "look at the wall". Christians...look at this warning signs and use it as a sign of the end of the age. Be on your toes and point people to see these signs as evidence that what Christ says is true. But more than that, what He says, "He is the Saviour of the world". To a world that is only dying, the only hope is in Christ. Whatever Christ says will come to pass. He echoes these words, "Heaven and Earth will pass away, but the Word of God abides forever".

So abide in this promise of the only deliverer, Christ Jesus.

Goodwood Park Durian Pastries

2009-07-19T02:32:00.000-07:00

Legendary durians discovery. Yamashita's gold is finally found...

This is one durian of a burger...called a durian puff for most of the time. :)

5 cm at the side and 8 cm in the centre of pure durian delight. This is no ordinary durian strudel, it shudders and bathe you into a sea of durian puree...

Frail is real

2009-07-13T10:01:00.000-07:00

Tonight at BSF, we went through Leviticus. It is a book themed on the holiness of God. It strike deeply that God loves a moral upright, righteous people who adore and worship God.

The more I read the law, the more I realise we have grown to ignore, have not regard for God anymore.

In general, I think we have also distanced from reality. Take human existance being frail, we dun take it as real. Unless we face death, that thought is always distant.

I wonder how many of us are sober. I wonder.

Before I forget

2009-06-26T11:16:00.000-07:00

When the days seem longer yet it is shorter.

Sometimes you consider that they are characters having suffered worse...Job with his boils, Jonah in the stomach of a big fish, Stephen stoned alive for the faith and you wonder how all these men could withstand such agonising death.

Death seemingly is cruel, but there are people who think also likewise living is cruel. Some may think death is a release others think that being alive is to be grateful. The key is still, where does your hope lies?

Living is cruel also because when all hope is dashed and death seems to suggest all will end. Hope is such a precious thing. Hope is light in darkness. Hope illuminates seemingly the darkness of days. Hope keeps one alive.

Hope is intangible. Hope gives rise to faith but faith also give rise to hope. Without faith, there can be no hope. Where there is no hope, there is no faith. The hope of gaining Christ. The hope of complete rest from the soldiering, the laboring, the gladness of the heart seems all so inviting.

Sometimes I think I weathered a lot of storm, seen alot of rain, awashed with much agonies, yet if I end of by thinking that the end of all that is for me to taste the curse of sin, then I am under a curse. I am but if that is all to life, then indeed it is a curse.

Curse will end. Hope never. Eternity with God is something I cannot comprehend neither have I seen. Invisbility remains invisible. And I am reminded the words of Paul who says we are by all men most pitiable if our hope is in vain. Our hope cannot be in vain, that is what Paul says. Assurance is the substance that guarantees our hope. So it must be God who keeps you and not the other way round. If my thought does stay on this, I know the only outcome, I will crumble and hope around will crumble and I will fall flat like a pack of cards.

A eternity with God never perishes. Before I forget. I am secure with Christ. God, help me to stay with you. Before I forget, You keep me, not I but Christ that keeps everyone with You. Before I forget. Help me to remember before I forget when I feel that there is a load that overwhelms. Help me to remember before I forget.

Durians

2009-06-23T09:47:00.000-07:00

Apperance can be deceiving. Smell can be as well. But what prevails is what is found in you.

Crisis

2009-06-14T08:23:00.000-07:00

3 major things collapse all in one.

Health, work and studies. Amazing the depth of all these problems, each being deep itself could assemble together at the same time.

Going for the church camp was very amazing. It was as though after hearing every message, God knew a trial of unmet proportions is coming and He is preaparing the way.

This sovereignty is enshrouded with divine love to the highest degree. It has wisdom and mercy.

God's infinite grace extends to meet the most despairing of heart.

I dread going thru the tunnel of suffering, but I would not forget the suffering of Christ brought Christ to the Father. Perhaps that is why Pastor Jeff said, embrace suffering like a friend then you shall consider it all joy.