Nobody Loves Me

Thought I would write down many things today after my EXAMs are finally over.

Thank God for that. Thank God for many brethrens who prayed. Thank God for guiding through others who also finished their exams.

The funny thing is, once you have free time on your hands (in a sense), you wouldn't want to write more. Perhaps. But I am getting a bit nostalgic. Many things want to pen down but maybe not tonight.

Today was in church, hearing the arranged song, "Nobody Loves Me" for the Christmas Musical. This song is a bit strange. In what way?

When I first wrote this song, the melody was a bit similar to another song I wrote for the musical. So on the whole, the feedback wasn't ideal. The other comment being, it wasn't sad enough. This song I am writing is for a very sad scene.

Weeks went without breakthrough. One day in church, while comtemplating whether we should go ahead with the original tune. We had arranged the music then already. I told my friend, I do have a very very sad tune. I held this tune back because it is really a very very sad tune.

Wrote this song because of unrequited love. Haha. Never finished this song. Half-done. Mid-way writing this song, I thought, forget it. Why live in the past? I kept the melody, I kept some of the lyrics. It is an unfinished song.

I decided to modify a bit of the parts to suit the Christmas Musical song needed. Today it is done up. Finally arranged.

When I heard it, tears well in my heart. I didn't cry in front of my fellow friends. They didn't know the story behind this song.

I dunno. Somehow hearing this song, every sad thoughts and emotions welled back.

I am in the midst of writing a song. The melody was concieved last week during my retreat in Gopeng, near Ipoh with the Chinese brethren.

It is a lively song, a heart warming tune.

Lives are full of emotions. And thoughts. It drives a person to remember.

Every strong wave or moving of emotions etched the deepest memories.

And so is "nobody loves me."

This song has come of age. I hope so have I.

Thank God that the melody has come to be useful and well-received.