Unspoken Words

As a chapter of my life comes to an end. Perhaps it has not. But I have deemed it as such.

Unspoken words remain best unspoken.

The hardest and sadest part of life is irreconciliation.

How I wish life is much simplier and people do not need to second guess one another.

Reality don't often sink in to people. Including myself.

Even to be friends, it is sometimes so hard just to express a little bit more.

Coz in human relationship, it is like a sprouting volcano...the underlying pressure soon will spew a giant eruption.

Alas, it is a regret.

The simpler way is to pray. And unspoken words remain unspoken. Except those in prayer..and the ones that are silent.

Sleep time. Day has ended.

O experiment please work tomorrow. :p

Amazing Grace

Thank God today for a great small group.
Thank God for the great venue.
Thank God for great bible study.
Thank God for great sharing.

Couldn't thank you enough :)

Thank God for You.

Thank God for restoration. Thank God for grace tonight.

Thank you so much. I love you LORD.

不再犹豫

不再犹豫

无聊望见了犹豫
达到理想不太易
即使有信心斗志却抑止

谁人定我去或留
定我心中的宇宙
只想靠两手向理想挥手

问句天几高心中志比天更高
自信打不死的心态活到老

Woo ... 我有我心底故事
亲手写上每段得失乐与悲与梦儿
Woo ... 纵有创伤不退避
梦想有日达成找到心底梦想的世界 终可见

谁人没试过犹豫
达到理想不太易
即使有信心斗志却抑止
谁人定我去或留

定我心中的宇宙
只想靠两手向理想挥手
问句天几高心中志比天更高
自信打不死的心态活到老

Woo ... 我有我心底故事
亲手写上每段得失乐与悲与梦儿
Woo ... 纵有创伤不退避
梦想有日达成找到心底梦想的世界
终可见

Woo ... 亲手写上每段得失
乐与悲与梦儿
Woo ... 梦想有日达成
找到心底梦想的世界 终可见

My favourite band group when I was a teenager - Beyond. I love this song very much till today! It is pity that the lead singer is no longer around and the band group has since disbanded but listening to this song is pretty motivating.

My good friend loves this band group as well. When I was learning the guitar, he was one of my teacher, he will play one of Beyond's song and sing with his melanchonic but soulful voice..haha not bad :)

The lyrics for this song is the best! The other one I like is Amani. Now that I know how to play the guitar..I enjoy strumming this song as well.

Meaningful words ..and singing along..it is etched.. :)

Going to sleep soon..been a day.

A bit sad today. A story to be told on MSN...or should I say something to be perceieved.

Things have changed.. it has. Sad. Same old story. Well time to sleep and not to think.

Good night. zzz...

Heartbeat

Thank God for a great morning devotion.

Stayed in my office till 4am last night. Almost think it is crazy.

But thank God that I managed still to drive home safely.

This morning woke at 10am. And heard the song, "Lord, I ask from Thee"
This words struck me are "All the riches I found will be the treasures that I find in Thee"

Nostalgic words. Coz so many things have happened in 31 years of my life. How the endless and mindless pursuits of so many things in life when it was for my own grandisment or desires, God had taken mind and thwarted so many of them. Some are legitamate that is, they are not scripturally wrong yet God did not allow it to come to pass.

Thankfully today, I stand not resentful but joy.

Behind a frowning providence, hides a smiling face.

Today, I have began to see the value of some events that have unfolded. From my very own salvation, to the sanctification of the heart, I thank God.

I still have things that besets me. One of which is the affairs of the heart. But God is good. He has given me much resilence because of unfilfilled hope. And also awakening foolishness.

Recently I went up to Malaysia. A pastor was sharing his life story about his marriage. He said this, "Because I have committed this to the Lord, I have no need to fret who God has chosen." He sought the Lord.

He married at 32 after 5 years of dating. Interestingly.

It is a wonderful union today as I see both husband and wife. Both sought the Lord evidently. They have very godly children, one in her twenties, the other a teenager.

It is great to trust in God in this. Today I prayed concerning this. Let me seek a person who sought in you first. That rest my heart.

All of life, God wants us to seek Him first. My thoughts have often strayed. In many aspects. He has firmed it to be in Him. Thank you, LORD.

In my job, in my friends, in my family...the LORD has been always calling me to trust in Him and in Him alone. I can't trust anything else.

I thank God for a new open door to reach out to the campus students. It is an earnest plead that God would bless this work. If it is for His glory, His glory will abide.

Let me take great delight to live and affirm a life for You.

You have the masterplan, LORD.

Thank you for again a symphony of great chords and melody. And life would take you as our CONDUCTOR! :)

All of Life

Listening to Selah, "You raise me up" is such an encouragement.
Penned something this morning after doing my devotion reading from Chapter 1 from 1 Kings.

Life has 2 emotions..largely. Grief and Happiness. Everything is in between.

Did realise something really disappointing. Everything in life is nothing new.
Previous encounters have taught me well. Thank God for life's richer experience.

Wish I could tell that to her. But I can't. But at least I can be more assured that I know how to settle in my own heart.

There is so much naivity in her. I have to just keep praying for her.

Life is so much simplier nowadays seeing God sovereignty as His utmost. Christ is incomparable. I hope really I would live more for God, find my emotions more in God than anything else.

Santify my heart, God that I might live more blazing and centred life in You. How much vanity have I pursue without a knowledge I was pursuing for myself and not You.

William Tynalde and so many of great Christians labourers have only one ambition, that they count nothing of their own, but gave everything for the cause of Christ.

I do realise many of my prayers, even my songs, even my thoughts are pure sentimentalism towards God.

But God have shown I believe a greater awareness of Him. The greater picture of His workings, His sovereignty, His providence..in many confounding ways yet I do not understand.

But seemingly, it doesn't seem matter more and more as the days go by.

Somehow, my heart seems to be more settled in the knowledge that He knows all, He knows best.

Doesn't matter there are much afflictions even to me. I am not the centre of the universe.

I delight in God. I delight in life simplier things. There is still much ugliness in life, including myself.

But it makes God more delightful..doesn't it.

I hope to see the symphony of God, the orchestra He is doing.

The Pslamist have a solid Hope in God, in Who He is...a deep anchor, a deep trust..it is not in their circumstances. it is not sentimentalism, it is a vindication of God's ownself.

God's honour raises above all else. If my heartbeat realised that...I would be most blessed because to know satisfaction in Him, what more will delight my soul?!

The hymnist of old have caught this vision. In their valley depth, they grasp the fuller grandeur of the mightier picture of God.

I hope I don't just write this for the sake of writing a literature.

I am praying that God who renews this mind prepares the coming days that I would finally take the step that to do what my heart really longs to do.

Till that day, God help me to love you and your Glory.

Sola Gloria Exclesior...

David, Your witness at the end of his life says this concerning You, "As the LORD lives, who has redeemed my life from every distress." (1 Kings 1:29) The redeemed life. Whatmore do I yearn for? My Lord and My God. Thank you for the greatest comfort of all.

Amen

Happier

Happier to see someone else happier.

We are worlds apart.

Better to leave her alone.

Happier to see someone else happier.

Sunset

Was at Kent Ridge Hill Park earlier today. Simply gorgeous sunset. God is good.

Finally settled something long in my heart. Did what I can do. There is no reason to be anxious.

And it is time to move on. Best wishes to you! Heartful expression finally out. Phew...Dun need to say anything.

Another tune again...but unlikely I will complete the lyrics. A tune always come when I am affected emotionally. Haha. Good still responding my heart.

Today so careless..delete an SMS that came without reading. Dun even know who sent!?

Anyhow, life goes on. Thank God that there are more and more people to pray for and more and more work to do with Him. God is good. I am satisfied.

Just remember a movie I watched sometime again. Called stranger than fiction. Very telling storyline. Life is like a BIG THEATRE. There is a great underlying message in that show. Not in cinema but think you can get the DVD somehow. I watched on the plane to US before :)

放弃

放弃

D A
今夜我望着你　
Bm Fm
你眼神似乎在闪躲
G D
是不是你正在躲避
G A
还是我　在有多意

D A
我好想能　
Bm Fm
走进你的面前
G D
可是有点不知所措
G A
我明白　是为了什么

Bm A
我在式着去忘掉
G D
这一切过去的遗憾
G D
你的名字我好想能抛开
G　　　　　　A　D
因为不知不觉已经爱上了你

Bm A
朋友之间我最珍惜
G D
就像是一杯香红老酒
Em Bm
流失了会感到哀痛可惜
G A 　　 D
所以最终我还是选择了放弃

Met her tonight. Didn't get a chance to talk. Just one liner. Had a tune and some thoughts. So just pen down. Think the lyrics are lousy. But as direct as I think. May change the lyrics though but as the way it is.

That is the way things will be. 放弃....

心怀之站

Thought I will stop writing songs to describe my emotions but couldn't help it....wrote 3 songs recently. Didn't have the courage to tell you. Tried but still couldn't. I thought writing these will somehow awake me to do it.

Perhaps I will post the mp3 file up one day.

It is best the heartache ends. No point. 2 and a half years ago...and now. Overcoming the past has been difficult. Don't need to say anything. I can perceive and understand. Don't see it possible. Haha. My own wishful thinking.

Best Wishes to you. 我决定放弃。只做朋友吧。不想再一次心痛。It has been a great diary of songs and rememberance. I like the tune and the song. Thanks for the inspiration.

Preaparing for tests

2 tests back to back. Quite a challenge. Relaxing and updating blog. Not much of an update. Just realise so much harder to study when you are older. 80% done with what I need to study. A few hours before sleeping time so better carry on... Haha...

Thankful to be still alive ;p

Cause for Living

Life is full of winding turns. Thoughts are also full of winding turns. Thank God, He always tell me He is the anchor.

4 years ago, I had a minor depression of life. I think. A year ago, I fell into a similar situation.

Thinking doesn't always help. But trusting God always did.

What makes a person on the brink of death have a great will to live while a person with the youth of life, decides to take his life? I believe the answer is HOPE.

A person devoid of hope falls into depression. A person empty of hope commits suicide.

Hope is this life can disappoint. Hope in God never do. It is the same with love. God's love however is eternal.

I also realise the love for people and being loved by people always encourages. Where love abides, hope abides.

Christianity without genuine love distants a person from wanting to seek hope in God.

May we learn to hope in Christ and love in Christ that others may know the reality of the LOVE of God and Hope in Him.

Growing Up

Endurance is a virtue. So is preserverance. However physical endurance is way easier. The pictures I hope tell a thousand words. These are pictures again of Mount Kinabalu. I was making my way up to the summit after leaving the base camp lodge at 3am. At around 7am, I finally reach the summit. It took at total 11 hours of climbing to reach the summit. I was never physically tested this way. This could be most likely my only physical strain I ever going to encounter. The reward is sure great. Look at the view. Awesome.

I remember how horrible feeling I had. Legs almost numb. Lungs almost screeching to a complete surrender and screaming,"Will you stop to rest!!! You are killing me!!!" Battling the body and mind, subjecting itself to complete subdue, the summit view says, "It all worth it"

That trip made me think that in other areas of my life, I must seek to endure. Though some things I have been waiting for 10 over years, I know at the end, it promises a greater reward than even the summit view. I saw the "world" in a sense on the top of Mt Kinabaulu, but really I am hoping I will see the world through another person. I wonder whether you know what I mean.

Love overcomes the World. Thank God for His perfect love and peace that endureth. Many rest-stops are needed but when I finally stand on the summit, I may really say "Thank you, Lord"

Song

Two and half years ago, I started writing my first song..it is titled "早晨的阳光" It is a song of that I wrote in Phuket Thailand. A song which I liked tremendously. A song which I wrote for someone who I loved once. Silly me.

2 months later, I wrote another song called "小熊的祝福" followed by another song "星星的约会" a month later. These are my earlier songs. Subsequently I keep writing songs regularly to pen down my thoughts and emotions. I feel that only songs could help me remember the feelings that go along when I meet an event in life. Since I pen more than 20 songs, I think, some unfinished.

I keep thinking about how life should be. I am still. I believe by being single, it drives the mind to think, to seek explanation and fulfilment. It makes you observe and trying to explain life. I believe I understood a lot now. But I also realised that having love is the true and joyful fulfilment in life. Knowledge wearies the soul but love lifts the soul. The absence of love is the absence of real joy. Someone said to me that "You are one in this world, but when you love, she is the world to you." Lonliness and love, what a world apart.

That is why I stopped writing song a 3 months back. I tried writing one after something really heartbreaking happened. I got the tune but the words remain elusive. Therefore I stopped, resolved perhaps not to write again. Coz the pain was too real, too painful for me to desire memory anymore.

I have stopped playing the songs I wrote in time past. Especially the first song, memory is too painful.

Recently I believe I come across someone special. But the past have gripped me so badly that I really don't dare to do anything more or say anything more. Past fear gives present fear. I lost courage. I have abidding fear. Today I finally wrote a song after a sleepless night thinking through about the past and the present. Perhaps I fear I will fail again.

I thought of posting this song up but stopped short of doing that. I don't dare to say a word. I fear it is not mutual. I fear it is just wishful thinking. I rather hide in cowardice because past pain is so real, I don't desire the same feeling again. It is a terrible pain.

But at least, I realise because I have opened my heart to this person, I know I have in a way detached myself from the past. I wished well for this friend. But will I ever say a word to her. I am not sure. It is unlikely. Perhaps I will keep this song. Forever? It is possible. This song is not about her but more about myself. My inner thoughts. Describing fear, lack of courage and disappointment.

Perhaps I need her to tell me instead. I don't sense there is anything more except friendship. I guess I must learn to be contented for now. Perhaps this song, this new song will remind me to learn to be bold, to be courageous again. Until that day, this song will be with me. And like the morning sun, I post, like the first song I wrote, I prayed that I am able to see every morning, a new hope, and perhaps one morning I will learn courage again and find true love.

The picture was taken from the top of Mt Kinabalu. I conquered this mountain almost a year ago Hopefully I will conquer my fear one day. The sun sure beckons hope. I prayed then that God is great and good that day. I know He will lead me to find that courage and hope in Him. May I find true love in this life as well!