Bridge

In more than a month, I would be visiting the grand canyon.

Ever wonder, crossing the canyon without aid would be extremely difficult, consider the gap is not in centimetres, neither in metres..butin kilometres.

Tonight, I witness one cross-over. Been over a week, and finally at the 8th attempt, finally my experiment worked. Finally the protocol that I am trying desperately to work, worked without hitch.

The results are tremendous. They were fantastic. No voice have gladness can express how relieved I am.

Without aid, indeed would be extremely difficult. Thank God for guiding thru' this week.

Tired I am. Drained I am. But deep witihin, I am only glad that God has been leading all the way.

Thank God.

期待的“天堂”

我一向认为华语是我最能表答的语言。不是英语。
每一刻，感触最多时，都认为它能给我最深的明白。
最近写了一首歌，名为“天堂”。
词的内容已经想好，只是没有写下来。
人的情感路上，往往有一些幻想，有时只能盼望，不能祈求。
有时有缘却无份。
词里面，我有写，
“你在我的心里画上美丽彩虹，
我想为你写满每个云朵
你的名字。你的出现带来温暖的气息”
这也许是人间所期待的“天堂”。
只能盼望，不能祈求。
等吧。

Timid Love

That hesistancy. That fear. That undecisiveness.
Sigh, all too familiar...all too fearful.

The outcome is all the same, the nervousness, the uncertainty.

Maybe that is my situation. Just overwhelmed by the weight of things.

Perfect love cast away all fears.

Alas for this love that is all too timid.

Torn

Life could have just been simpler. Simpler and simpler.

Today watched up. A line by the old man, "I remember all the things especially the boring ones." He spoke of the times he have had with his dear wife who have since departed.

This old man speaks wise words. Simple and simpler brings real contentment.

Personally I feel it takes one who have been through a thunderstorm in the big open sea to feel a calm habour enchanting. One who been through a turbulence in a plane would love the clear blue sky.

The gradient of contentment is less steep and gently requires only a little to be happy.

Three years isn't a short time but I am glad I learn to see contentment in the simplest of thing.

There are much dilemma. I feel I have always complicated things. Perhaps it is the stress, the frustrations with the outcome of certain, wrong decisions and perplexed siutation that have clouded my view of things.

Torn it is. Caught unawares it is. Stressed it is.

I have learnt. It would have been now that I see the simpler things in life is wonderful.

I must learn to be glad in all of life circumstances. Regardless. Rain or shine.

Paddling through life, perhaps a deep breath, a quiet thought, a brief moment to see the horizon and know tranquility and calmess of mind is all of itself glad. I must learn to be glad.

Let the yesteryears go. There are road ahead I haven't travelled.

God is right beside. The highest and deepest of fear. May His wisdom always be my sufficiency. Let me learn Your way as You make the way. You will lead Your people to still waters, finally.

The Peril of a Parole not coming

When I first attended the verdict court session of a murder case, I heard the verdict loud and clear. The judge in concluding his findings gave the verdict.

The accused was found to be guilty and the sentence reads, "On a appointed day, you should be brought to a penal instituition where you will have a noose hang around your neck, you shall be hanged till you die".

These words have no deviation. There lies the sentence of death.

A year ago, I read this particular accused is hanged and is dead.

Does life circumstances present in such a way that we find ourselves in a corner, finding it hard to manoveour, despair of hope and direction?

Somewhat I relate to this feeling especially this week.

I thought of the expression of "the peril of a parole not coming?" This is my heartfelt prayer cry this week. There is a need to trust that God is soveriegn. Deliverance will come.

It is strange that one week, things will going alright, the next everything can go into tatters. A roller coaster of ups and downs. The emotional turmoil is unbearable.

Not to experience a high followed by a abyss of low.

Extremes over a sharp short period isn't for any faint hearted ...let alone a fainting heart.

I suppose I can ask why God? But yet this question has a semblence of doubt. Why do I go from here? God often called us not to know, but to trust.

Perhaps I am learning what is the essence of faith.

Patience has its work. Hardship delivers endurance. Despair purges doubt.

We looked at Job, his suffering abound and for him after his trial of close to death would conclude that his ears used to hear but now they see....means a lot to me. Simple trust in God is never easy.

Simplicity can only come after complexity.

I am perplexed now but simplicity to trust God would come..with the time test run by God.

His clockwork precision would only mean He knows best.

Seem so insurmountable the tasks ahead. I could only mutter a simple prayer. "Help!"

And perhaps that is all that is ever needed to be said.

I trust God has heard.

Thoughts

I haven't blog for a long time.

Guess too much thoughts drove me to pen down a few things. Felt terribly overwhelmed at work today. Not that I want to pen down specifics but rather a general sense of the torrents of recurring tidal stress.

I long for rest. I long for this to be over. Have been working incessently for the past 3 years. And as the turn of stress approach its billowing heights, loud reminders of the need to fulfil my responsbilities keep echoing.

I write down some verses from Habakkuk 3:17-19

17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,

18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.

Though my situation seemingly look hopeless with the pressing deadline, with every day whizzing back, oozes away each ounce of remaining strength, the emotions draining and desperate, I wish for a silver lining...perhaps only a speck.

Yet that seem more distant than nearer.

And coupled with other thoughts that concerns the heart, I wonder why there is a prisms of problems arriving. Somethings I think this is self wrought but many thoughts and circumstances have arrived unnoticed, unprepared.

My recent trip to Malaysia though a short rest has brought new concerns. Not that I had invited it but it has.

I am in need of wisdom, much wisdom. Verses given in Habakkuk has given me understanding of the ways of God. I know my faith has been deeply wounded. Yet the healing and restoring power is never my own.

As in a pit of miry clay I am in now, I ask only for that divine help, to gain a dip into the still waters of God.

I ask. I seek and I wait. Which will come? None except that Christ provideds comfort.

How long? How long?

That longing of Christ hand. O that my Lord be found faithful. Somehow I know the reason why God is putting me thru all these except the dread and detestable thought I have, I wish for a sip again of that fountain of grace.

O God if you will allow to enter sooner than later, yet You will not relent till grace from you meets the comfort that is required.

A bruised reed, indeed, Thou will not break.

Change is sudden

That every breath is a sign of living.

Amazing it isn't it? The world still continues as it was. But change is sudden.
A passing shower of happiness can plummet into a sudden grip of grief. Nothing is steadfast on this earth. Change is everywhere and can be at any time.

Being human is fraility and fleeting. Wonder why ever our mind has no solace in its restlessness? Wonder why there is a longing for eternity and an answer.

Look at change and you wonder anything ever last?

I stand in awe of the universe so vast and distance, as I look into a cloudness sky and see the stars... I wonder what is out there?

I look at insurmountable problems of life and wonder what deliverance is all about? Just to overcome problems?

There is definitely eternity written in our hearts.

Ecclesiatis 3:11 says ,"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

I realise a reconciled heart and mind with an unfanthomable God is what brings solace and peace to the heart. That reconcilation is the marvel of God's grace and mercy.

Wonder does anything last? Yes there is. When you find that God is the eternity that should be in the heart of men. Only then is the peace that surpasses all understanding will rule and guard your heart in Christ Jesus...