When the music stops

I heard a song that have lyrics like this and it says that I am coming back to the heart of worship.

I often just lift my guitar up and strike a few chords. Sometimes I strike a new tune that is nice. But most of the time, it was not during the time that I strike the guitar that I get a new tune. Contrary. It is when I am deep in thought on someone or some memories that the tune came.

There are times when you are quiet and in meditation. Going through the pages of lives. So to speak that you begin to think as well, what would you like to see to happen in the future.

There are many times, I felt God really wanted me to do something else and not what I am doing. But at this point I still do not know exactly what.

One thing I learnt that my life must not be consisted of the following:

a) live for the sake of avoiding sin
b) live for the glory of self and the applause of men
c) live aimlessly without purpose and with void

There are times, I felt I have found the resolve to do something, only for the thoughts of difficulties and uncertainties creeping in. There are times where convenience seems more appealing than difficulties and I have cringed.

Today, had a little setback but it was enough to put me back on the pedestal and ask God again for reason of the circumstances.

Joy with God is never constant as far as for me is concerned. I realised I have to fight for this joy, unceasingly, unendlessly. It takes the mind to meditate. It takes the heart to affirm these meditations.

I challenged myself many times that I must, I must, I must see a greater work of God in this life. I want to see a more glorious vision of what God will do in and through this life. I asked simply that I take simple steps of obedience and not let the thoughts of future crippled me but His future grace sustains me.

It is a struggle really.

But consider the marvel of God's handiwork in everything around, I give thanks. I hope this is real holy dissatisfaction.

If I may consider, I may consider His might and His majesty. There are vessels unto honour, there are vessels unto destructions. We are all earthern vessels but we carry the treasure of Christ if we are child of God.

I hope more will know this treasure and make them wholy theirs.

God, lead along life this journey way, that I may see Your Glory more each day.

It is like when your life stops, have you counted your life worthy for the Lord.

I only have one life. When the music stops, I may ponder. When my life stops...I can't...