Lord, I believe

Today was a very tiring day. The battle rages on every day. And sometimes when you keep doing the same thing every day for the past coming to 7 years, you get a sense of tireness and routineness and boredom.

There is a certain dread, definitely.

I remember reading Ecclesiastes and found the word vanity many many times. Nothing new under the sun.

But Solomon made a remark at the end of his life, he says fear God and keep His commandments For this is man's all. For God will bring every work into judgement. Including every secret thing, Whether good or evil.

John Piper said the same, that we have only one life and only what is done for Christ will last.

Somehow I can't quite find my work in my current job aligned to this. While the work has given the daily manna, and I thank God for that and the blessed priviledge to give, yet in the longing of my heart is something deeper and strangely different.

I still dunno how to put it, but I believe to believe that there must a stronger desire for me to move.

I pray that day may come soon but only in God's timing once I be able to see His Hand and know His Hand.

At the end of life, I hope I would find the satisfying gladness of hearing my Lord say to me "Well, done thou and faithful servent, enter into Thy presence."

That it be gladness and not regret.