Thoughts

I haven't blog for a long time.

Guess too much thoughts drove me to pen down a few things. Felt terribly overwhelmed at work today. Not that I want to pen down specifics but rather a general sense of the torrents of recurring tidal stress.

I long for rest. I long for this to be over. Have been working incessently for the past 3 years. And as the turn of stress approach its billowing heights, loud reminders of the need to fulfil my responsbilities keep echoing.

I write down some verses from Habakkuk 3:17-19

17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,

18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.

Though my situation seemingly look hopeless with the pressing deadline, with every day whizzing back, oozes away each ounce of remaining strength, the emotions draining and desperate, I wish for a silver lining...perhaps only a speck.

Yet that seem more distant than nearer.

And coupled with other thoughts that concerns the heart, I wonder why there is a prisms of problems arriving. Somethings I think this is self wrought but many thoughts and circumstances have arrived unnoticed, unprepared.

My recent trip to Malaysia though a short rest has brought new concerns. Not that I had invited it but it has.

I am in need of wisdom, much wisdom. Verses given in Habakkuk has given me understanding of the ways of God. I know my faith has been deeply wounded. Yet the healing and restoring power is never my own.

As in a pit of miry clay I am in now, I ask only for that divine help, to gain a dip into the still waters of God.

I ask. I seek and I wait. Which will come? None except that Christ provideds comfort.

How long? How long?

That longing of Christ hand. O that my Lord be found faithful. Somehow I know the reason why God is putting me thru all these except the dread and detestable thought I have, I wish for a sip again of that fountain of grace.

O God if you will allow to enter sooner than later, yet You will not relent till grace from you meets the comfort that is required.

A bruised reed, indeed, Thou will not break.