When you walk that short distance and you do not feel like walking an inch further, you know besides tireness, it is dread.
You know you need that spark to ignite the dousing smoke.
You know you are in need of the sound of not coming shower, but a shower of blessing.
And when all is but dried up, you need to look for the next water hole.
And when you are all but tired, you know rest is ever more a need than before.
I am tired.
A dew would be enough.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Suicide
Yesterday, I reached home around 640pm from my workplace. I have just collected my car from the workshop. Did some minor repairs to my floor board.
I didn't expect a typically normal day to turn so unusual. The police cars, ambulance had surrounded my block. I saw some grim face policemen. I went up from my lift, and peer below the ground from the stairway when I reached my floor. I regret this decision. Someone had committed suicide by jumping. The sight is terrible. The head must have landed first on impact. I would not describe what I saw. And I do hope that with time, this image greatly diminished.
Today, I read in the Chinese papers, the cause of the suicide was chronic depression. The victim, a 40 something woman who have gone missing for a day. A church member had just asked me a few days ago about what is depression and just a day earlier, Pastor had preached about lostness and how Leslie Cheng had committed suicide the same way.
I wonder hard at how people could commit suicide. I was preparing for bible study for Sunday. I couldn't help but see Christ on the cross that day. Depression is a result of sin. The guilt of sin. The despair of sin. The hopelessness of sin. I was studying Romans Chapter 1 and 2 in preparation. And what really struck me is really the gravity and how debased the human mind can get.
I know that depression is a real thing. I have been sad before. But I guess I never lost hope in God. This morning, I saw joss paper and incense. The night before, the images that flashed through the night didn't allow me to sleep well. I knew the victim is not a Christian.
And this morning when I gave the bible study, I asked, Does anyone of us know how ugly sin is? Does anyone know why Christ must suffer many things that even His death is ugly. Because sin is ugly. I saw it for myself the day before. You know we never quite like to stay and think about the ugliness of sin. Man has no natural desire to see tragic, gruesome, gory things. And I can relate to Paul when he paints adject hopelessness of man, Jew or Gentile, but the reality of it is, sin is ugly. Death is ugly. Jesus wouldn't have wept if it is a beautiful thing.
And I know why we often neglect to declare the sinfulness of sin to the sinner. The gospel of God's love can never be fully grasped till the gallows of sin be told in plain, unminced manner.
I still have the images in me.
I watched the Passion of the Christ sometime back. And I still remember the images of Christ on the cross. But I remember more fondly, the image of the glorified ressurected Christ.
Christ is to be adored. There is beauty in the conquest of sin.
He brought many sons to glory.
He is the firstfruit.
Blessed Easter.
I didn't expect a typically normal day to turn so unusual. The police cars, ambulance had surrounded my block. I saw some grim face policemen. I went up from my lift, and peer below the ground from the stairway when I reached my floor. I regret this decision. Someone had committed suicide by jumping. The sight is terrible. The head must have landed first on impact. I would not describe what I saw. And I do hope that with time, this image greatly diminished.
Today, I read in the Chinese papers, the cause of the suicide was chronic depression. The victim, a 40 something woman who have gone missing for a day. A church member had just asked me a few days ago about what is depression and just a day earlier, Pastor had preached about lostness and how Leslie Cheng had committed suicide the same way.
I wonder hard at how people could commit suicide. I was preparing for bible study for Sunday. I couldn't help but see Christ on the cross that day. Depression is a result of sin. The guilt of sin. The despair of sin. The hopelessness of sin. I was studying Romans Chapter 1 and 2 in preparation. And what really struck me is really the gravity and how debased the human mind can get.
I know that depression is a real thing. I have been sad before. But I guess I never lost hope in God. This morning, I saw joss paper and incense. The night before, the images that flashed through the night didn't allow me to sleep well. I knew the victim is not a Christian.
And this morning when I gave the bible study, I asked, Does anyone of us know how ugly sin is? Does anyone know why Christ must suffer many things that even His death is ugly. Because sin is ugly. I saw it for myself the day before. You know we never quite like to stay and think about the ugliness of sin. Man has no natural desire to see tragic, gruesome, gory things. And I can relate to Paul when he paints adject hopelessness of man, Jew or Gentile, but the reality of it is, sin is ugly. Death is ugly. Jesus wouldn't have wept if it is a beautiful thing.
And I know why we often neglect to declare the sinfulness of sin to the sinner. The gospel of God's love can never be fully grasped till the gallows of sin be told in plain, unminced manner.
I still have the images in me.
I watched the Passion of the Christ sometime back. And I still remember the images of Christ on the cross. But I remember more fondly, the image of the glorified ressurected Christ.
Christ is to be adored. There is beauty in the conquest of sin.
He brought many sons to glory.
He is the firstfruit.
Blessed Easter.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Real convictions
A test requires an outcome. I think that is when true convictions are revealed.
I have witness too many contradictions rather than convictions.
I fear when I put to the test, I would also be contradictions.
Truly it is grace that keeps us.
Unless I tested, would I know that I have contrdictions rather than convictions.
It has been a month since I saw a contradiciton in someone life.
I have been tested on this before. I considered and prayed and decidely saturated my mind with scriptures and overcome it through the grace of God. Didnt make the right decision at the start but God's grace overcome the indifferent thinking I had.
I never saw a reason for God's love till I saw a reason for God's judgement.
When love and mercy meets, I know I can't take grace at love's expense.
Living right is because His righteousnes and nothing more.
I don't bargain for God's righteousness when He doesnt count my tresspasses towards Him. I was given. That must my attitude towards life. I dun ask for grace to sin. I sin not becuase grace was given.
Convictions and not contradictions.
I plead my soul to obey for obedience is better than sacrifice.
I have witness too many contradictions rather than convictions.
I fear when I put to the test, I would also be contradictions.
Truly it is grace that keeps us.
Unless I tested, would I know that I have contrdictions rather than convictions.
It has been a month since I saw a contradiciton in someone life.
I have been tested on this before. I considered and prayed and decidely saturated my mind with scriptures and overcome it through the grace of God. Didnt make the right decision at the start but God's grace overcome the indifferent thinking I had.
I never saw a reason for God's love till I saw a reason for God's judgement.
When love and mercy meets, I know I can't take grace at love's expense.
Living right is because His righteousnes and nothing more.
I don't bargain for God's righteousness when He doesnt count my tresspasses towards Him. I was given. That must my attitude towards life. I dun ask for grace to sin. I sin not becuase grace was given.
Convictions and not contradictions.
I plead my soul to obey for obedience is better than sacrifice.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Wish could abandon all and go
it seems so expedient...
to start everything again...
a desperate despair...
would there and could there be a restart?
to start everything again...
a desperate despair...
would there and could there be a restart?
Sunday, March 21, 2010
God moves..
God answers prayer. There is no doubt about that.
And He moves in mysterious way...divine providence.
I earnestly hope I see more of His hand moving. Sometimes I think I am guilty of prejury. And at times, I dun think I am thankful enough of the goodness that He has bestowed.
The Chinese girls bible study on Sunday has more new people. While Dinghui and Tianren has enrolled in the ID course and opted to go for 2nd service, God has brought in 2 other newcomers to join the bible study. There are finding the bible studies helpful. Thank God for that. Hope they will grow in the Lord. Yuyun has been a blessing. And I pray that the bible study will fortify their faith in God.
Wang Wei has been attending church for some time now. He is Yuyun's friend. He heard the gospel a couple of times but would want to take time to consider Christ as being the true God. Do pray for Him that God will dispel the doubt in him and that he will come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.
Jingbo has been coming to church on and off. His supervisor is very strict with his school hours. I do hope the couple of church coming and the one bible study he has attended will help him to ponder the reality of Christ and the need for divine forgiveness. Pray for him that God will move in his heart to desire to be saved.
Ken has professed Christ last wednesday. By providence, he was the only attendee for the YMCA guitar clasa as the rest were on term break and decided not to come. We had our lesson and after that supper. Ken enquire about the faith and we shared with him what Christianity is about. And at the end, he came to pray and accepted Christ as his Lord and Saviour. He is from a Buddhist family and has not been granted permission to come to church. Do pray for him that he would be able to come to church. We have agreed to have a short bible class after wednesday guitar class. Hope he grow in Christ and his faith be strenghtened under such trying circumstances.
My colleague has also attended the ID class. Quite concerned about her growth, and hopefully the class will help her. Also hope that she find a suitable fellowship group to be part of. My other 2 friends have also decided to join FABRICs. Changing times ahead indeed.
For campus, there are quite a few newcomers. That is good. I do hope among the newcomers, faithful ones will be raised. God always move in a few good men. I do hope that I see men or women with grace and faith being revealed. The Romans bible studies is a monumental book to study. And I hope by the grace of God, this book will be completed. It is going to be tremendous when this bible studies is complete. It is going to life-changing if God breathes power and draws heart towards Godly sorrow that leads to repetance. This book has depth and impart breath in the life of the believer. This is my prayer that God will raise people to respond to the message of the book of Romans. May campus be the preparation ground for us to do battle for God. This is what I hope to see. By the grace of God, it will be done.
My work is piling like crazy. I dunno how I could survive all of this. I echo the cries of Paul though he is always in want, in need. He says this assurance that he can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. He also said that his God shall supply my needs according to His riches. I do hope it come to pass that God will show Himself strong.
Life is not easy. But with Christ in the boat, as the song says, we can smile at the storm.
The tide is changing. God is moving. I am still praying for my future direction. I have an inkling what I like to do. And when God moves, I hope I also move.
God is good. He is. If you read this blog, I hope you join alongside and pray. Thanks.
And He moves in mysterious way...divine providence.
I earnestly hope I see more of His hand moving. Sometimes I think I am guilty of prejury. And at times, I dun think I am thankful enough of the goodness that He has bestowed.
The Chinese girls bible study on Sunday has more new people. While Dinghui and Tianren has enrolled in the ID course and opted to go for 2nd service, God has brought in 2 other newcomers to join the bible study. There are finding the bible studies helpful. Thank God for that. Hope they will grow in the Lord. Yuyun has been a blessing. And I pray that the bible study will fortify their faith in God.
Wang Wei has been attending church for some time now. He is Yuyun's friend. He heard the gospel a couple of times but would want to take time to consider Christ as being the true God. Do pray for Him that God will dispel the doubt in him and that he will come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.
Jingbo has been coming to church on and off. His supervisor is very strict with his school hours. I do hope the couple of church coming and the one bible study he has attended will help him to ponder the reality of Christ and the need for divine forgiveness. Pray for him that God will move in his heart to desire to be saved.
Ken has professed Christ last wednesday. By providence, he was the only attendee for the YMCA guitar clasa as the rest were on term break and decided not to come. We had our lesson and after that supper. Ken enquire about the faith and we shared with him what Christianity is about. And at the end, he came to pray and accepted Christ as his Lord and Saviour. He is from a Buddhist family and has not been granted permission to come to church. Do pray for him that he would be able to come to church. We have agreed to have a short bible class after wednesday guitar class. Hope he grow in Christ and his faith be strenghtened under such trying circumstances.
My colleague has also attended the ID class. Quite concerned about her growth, and hopefully the class will help her. Also hope that she find a suitable fellowship group to be part of. My other 2 friends have also decided to join FABRICs. Changing times ahead indeed.
For campus, there are quite a few newcomers. That is good. I do hope among the newcomers, faithful ones will be raised. God always move in a few good men. I do hope that I see men or women with grace and faith being revealed. The Romans bible studies is a monumental book to study. And I hope by the grace of God, this book will be completed. It is going to be tremendous when this bible studies is complete. It is going to life-changing if God breathes power and draws heart towards Godly sorrow that leads to repetance. This book has depth and impart breath in the life of the believer. This is my prayer that God will raise people to respond to the message of the book of Romans. May campus be the preparation ground for us to do battle for God. This is what I hope to see. By the grace of God, it will be done.
My work is piling like crazy. I dunno how I could survive all of this. I echo the cries of Paul though he is always in want, in need. He says this assurance that he can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. He also said that his God shall supply my needs according to His riches. I do hope it come to pass that God will show Himself strong.
Life is not easy. But with Christ in the boat, as the song says, we can smile at the storm.
The tide is changing. God is moving. I am still praying for my future direction. I have an inkling what I like to do. And when God moves, I hope I also move.
God is good. He is. If you read this blog, I hope you join alongside and pray. Thanks.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Heart of the gospel
16 Thus says the LORD:
“ Stand in the ways and see,
And ask for the old paths, where the good way is,
And walk in it;
Then you will find rest for your souls.
But they said, ‘We will not walk in it.’
Jer 6:16
A reprobate generation needs an awakening of sobriety to realise the true gospel. Israel is of no exception for the God of mercy through His prophet warns ever repeatedly to remember the old path, the path of a faithful generation that obeyed truth and had the favor of God with them.
I have embarked again a journey of discovery. Reading the book of Romans have been refreshing, in preparing for the bible study. I have also studied a topic for months now on worship and is still searching the scriptures and reading. The conclusion i have made is clear. Men who loved the truth would testify that apart from truth there is no worship. Apart from the Spirit of truth, there cannot be worship. Worship doesn't produce truth neither the spirit of God. It is truth and the spirit of God that produces worship.
So I realise the centrality of Christianity (of course Christ is the centre) but with the bible as the source of divine revelation, truth, the word of God takes precedance over everything. This is why I beleive, apart from the bible, the right understanding of everything pertaining to God and consequently, life and godliness would not be proper.
What is the non-negotiables of a church? If Christ says He will build His church and the gates of hades will not prevail, then we have to put our attention to the call. Christ told Peter 2 important lessons. One on the church, the other being to feed the flock. I dun see a difference in tying the two because Paul told Timothy the same, that the church is to be "if I am delayed, you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God's household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth." 1 Tim 3:16.
Woah. The church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of truth. I think its mandated. Paul often told Timothy, a pastor in the Ephesus church to be careful in rightly divide the Word. I think Paul knew the importance for it is the Word of God that is the engine of the church. How we worship, how we conduct ourselves, how we do ministry is formed by the Word. The core of the church, the blaze of the church, the witness of the church is through a deep and thoughtful preaching of the Word and it requires the man to be a Spriit-filled man, who is God-fearing, knowing he handles the Word of life. To be skilled in dividing the Word.
I don't know how many of us really takes a serious view of that. Acts 17 says the noble Bereans hearing Paul preached would search the scriptures to see whether they are so.
This generation is turning sensuous. It is not a generation of yesteryears. The magnitude and multitude of sins prevalent says that lawlessness is at work..and harder. The sins that we read of yesteryear are petty compared to what we read about today. The church regard for truth and a reverential and thoughtful understanding have been replaced by doctrines that tickles the ear. The counsel of God's truth have been constricted to texts that exponded plently of grace, love and mercy. When would be the last time, we heard of wrath, judgement, thirsting of righteousness and holiness? When do you hear the gospel of Christ when He healed the lame, the blind, the adulteress and telling them, "Go and sin no more." We have place believe on Christ and you are are forever saved kind of mentality. That is not the gospel. Christ healed 10 lepers and only one He said..turn to Christ to say a gratitude expression of Thanks was the only one that is truly saved.
Whoever wants to examine again the gospel? Whoever wants to examine the truth? Whoever wants to study true worship again? Don't just jump onto the bandwagon for the sake of doing so.
Examine the scriptures and see whether there is right doing. Truth is timeless. Culture changes. Truth still is timeless.
I think I have exhausted my mental anguish thinking of the decadence of how things are going. Perhaps battle weary but then I have done nothing.
I write this to hopefully to awake ourselves to what Jude says in verse 3 of contending for truth. This generation needs truth. We have turn sensusous. Godliness isn't the in thing. This is true. Think about your lifestyle, your thoughts, your pleasure and you know this thought of Godliness isn't something we endear.
I do hope that I will echo the answer God gave Elijah when he thought he is last faithful remnant that God said to Elijah that He has kept 7000 from bowing to Baal. God keeps the faithful simply God is faithful.
Let us then, discover truth, live out the truth for one sake. For God's sake. For only in this, He will be glorified. That is the truth.
“ Stand in the ways and see,
And ask for the old paths, where the good way is,
And walk in it;
Then you will find rest for your souls.
But they said, ‘We will not walk in it.’
Jer 6:16
A reprobate generation needs an awakening of sobriety to realise the true gospel. Israel is of no exception for the God of mercy through His prophet warns ever repeatedly to remember the old path, the path of a faithful generation that obeyed truth and had the favor of God with them.
I have embarked again a journey of discovery. Reading the book of Romans have been refreshing, in preparing for the bible study. I have also studied a topic for months now on worship and is still searching the scriptures and reading. The conclusion i have made is clear. Men who loved the truth would testify that apart from truth there is no worship. Apart from the Spirit of truth, there cannot be worship. Worship doesn't produce truth neither the spirit of God. It is truth and the spirit of God that produces worship.
So I realise the centrality of Christianity (of course Christ is the centre) but with the bible as the source of divine revelation, truth, the word of God takes precedance over everything. This is why I beleive, apart from the bible, the right understanding of everything pertaining to God and consequently, life and godliness would not be proper.
What is the non-negotiables of a church? If Christ says He will build His church and the gates of hades will not prevail, then we have to put our attention to the call. Christ told Peter 2 important lessons. One on the church, the other being to feed the flock. I dun see a difference in tying the two because Paul told Timothy the same, that the church is to be "if I am delayed, you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God's household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth." 1 Tim 3:16.
Woah. The church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of truth. I think its mandated. Paul often told Timothy, a pastor in the Ephesus church to be careful in rightly divide the Word. I think Paul knew the importance for it is the Word of God that is the engine of the church. How we worship, how we conduct ourselves, how we do ministry is formed by the Word. The core of the church, the blaze of the church, the witness of the church is through a deep and thoughtful preaching of the Word and it requires the man to be a Spriit-filled man, who is God-fearing, knowing he handles the Word of life. To be skilled in dividing the Word.
I don't know how many of us really takes a serious view of that. Acts 17 says the noble Bereans hearing Paul preached would search the scriptures to see whether they are so.
This generation is turning sensuous. It is not a generation of yesteryears. The magnitude and multitude of sins prevalent says that lawlessness is at work..and harder. The sins that we read of yesteryear are petty compared to what we read about today. The church regard for truth and a reverential and thoughtful understanding have been replaced by doctrines that tickles the ear. The counsel of God's truth have been constricted to texts that exponded plently of grace, love and mercy. When would be the last time, we heard of wrath, judgement, thirsting of righteousness and holiness? When do you hear the gospel of Christ when He healed the lame, the blind, the adulteress and telling them, "Go and sin no more." We have place believe on Christ and you are are forever saved kind of mentality. That is not the gospel. Christ healed 10 lepers and only one He said..turn to Christ to say a gratitude expression of Thanks was the only one that is truly saved.
Whoever wants to examine again the gospel? Whoever wants to examine the truth? Whoever wants to study true worship again? Don't just jump onto the bandwagon for the sake of doing so.
Examine the scriptures and see whether there is right doing. Truth is timeless. Culture changes. Truth still is timeless.
I think I have exhausted my mental anguish thinking of the decadence of how things are going. Perhaps battle weary but then I have done nothing.
I write this to hopefully to awake ourselves to what Jude says in verse 3 of contending for truth. This generation needs truth. We have turn sensusous. Godliness isn't the in thing. This is true. Think about your lifestyle, your thoughts, your pleasure and you know this thought of Godliness isn't something we endear.
I do hope that I will echo the answer God gave Elijah when he thought he is last faithful remnant that God said to Elijah that He has kept 7000 from bowing to Baal. God keeps the faithful simply God is faithful.
Let us then, discover truth, live out the truth for one sake. For God's sake. For only in this, He will be glorified. That is the truth.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)