Troubled

It weighs so heavy to think.

But it seems also so inviting. To pray that is.

The campus ministry is growing. But the weight of knowing that and being glad are 2 different things.
There are concerns welling in.

Was thinkiing of listing down. But will put all these into prayers. If you read this and do want to pray, pray for God's protection, direction and foundation.

Look at the bible and laying down in my heart the distinctives campus ministry must take. I guess I am very influenced by the preaching of John MacArthur, Phil Johnson and John Piper.

Some thoughts that was consolidated years back and finally coming back to remind never to abandon the sure foundation of the church. The sure honoring of the Lord. The Word be faithful to guide them for one reason - to know the LORD.

There are need of workers. Many. Not sure to approach anyone yet. Hopefully do. But must seek wisdom from the Lord.

The journey do seems longer now. Harder than before.

Stress mounting on all side. Work and studies.

Where coemth thy fountain?

Only for the Lord to remind, drink forth my fountain of grace.

I know I am struggling within. There is nothing to hide. Except to know that I hide behind the cross in the midst of all this.

Thank God the X'mas songs are almost done..almost the last lap.
Now for my exams, immediate.

Sola fide.

Library

Another test next week. Another time of study.

This week been hectic. Beside research, had tutorial as usual. But what was inconvenient is that my pc is infected with a virus and the fan broke down.

Repaired the fan by sending to Sim Lim and remove the virus by formating the hard-disk. Much better now the PC but to prevent any further hipcups with my work, I got a laptop.

So I am typing my first blog entry using this new IBM laptop. Haha.

But the end of the year is fast approaching. Some things still haven't change. I felt that the x'mas songs I wrote this year are very melanchonic. Perhaps it reflect the mood I have.

But I trust that these songs were inspired by God. They sounded good. Somehow, I look at people who will useful for God didn't really have a life that is pleasant.

This period of time, they are so many issues that have cropped up. Stress, you name it, it comes hard and furry. But these past few months, it also mean there were more prayers uttered than I can remembered.

The goodness of God prevails.

The quiet desire remains.

One day all shall be revealed and it seems fast approaching. Will I say it all before the close of the year. Maybe I dun have a chance to say it.

Well, Blessed X'MAS :)

Early Morning Thoughts

Early morning, means late nights. Mugging before my computer. No empathy from the computer screen.

Taking a short break. 1 hr of solid revision..but hardly retention. Studying developmental biology for tomorrow and just finish reading muscle formation. Moving on to bone formation. Haha. So much to remember. Old man liao..hard to retain...

Yesterday was very interesting. Got fine for parking with insufficient parking coupon. If only I left early. I wish I did.

Nevertheless I did send a friend home later. Talked about teaching profession. Well, glad people all around grew after being exposed to working life. Reality I know must be learnt. Can't even relate. I found my friend mature tremendously having taught for three years. She has indeed learn more from experiencing than chatting.

I learn it as well.

So much to learn in life. Better to learn life by living than to read books.

I hope things still end well. This year is going to end. I really hope it will end well. I hope to complete some things this year so that I have no regrets.

Hopeful my invitation gets accepted.

Well, a penny for thought. Sorry I am Singaporean. Should be a coin for thought.

The Greatest Love

The more I listen to this song that was written for the christmas musical, the more thankful I felt. The more elation I felt for being a follower of Christ.

I couldn't thank God enough for this song.

This morning devotion have been exceptional. When I came to this verse in Jeremiah 15:8, "O the Hope of Israel, his Savior in time of trouble, Why should You be like a stranger in the land, And like a traveler who turns aside to tarry for a night?"

The persistant sinning of Israel and the Hope of Israel. What a constrast. What an irony. A citizen of grace, yet living not under grace. A resident of hope, not living in hope. A christian but not a follower of Christ. What are we saved unto? Christian, each and every one. Christian one and all. What a start reminder of Christ sacrifice. Isn't it one of the greatest love and of the greatest sacrifice? And so why do we have to live as paupers of faith? It is the celebration of life to know and live the life of Christ? Or this lament would be true of you from God.

I am thankful for the song, "the Greatest love."

I heard one sermon yesterday. It was someone saying this, "Do you believe that God has a plan and purpose for your life? Do you think God has a purpose for Moses, for David, for Solomon, for Joseph, for Joshua? And Do you think God has a plan and purpose for your life?" The preacher went on to say, the compelling answer seems to be yes. But there is something wrong to the approach. There could be one Moses. Too many Moses won't do good. The man-exalting approach is to compel the idea of God exceling usefulness of man, His utmost desire of His must purpose and must good in your life. That is true. But to elevate the characters of the bible as you is not exactly correct. Think about Uriah, the valiant and loyal soldier of David, who was killed in battle. He was a faithful soldier, loyal to David. But David took his wife, Bathsheba. So what make of Uriah. If Uriah was listed among those great men? Who you have said yes? Who you have said yes if right now you are striken with cancer? If right now, you are straddled with difficulties of life. Answer NO...

So the point is not to think of a grand picture of you being the centre of God's purposes. But God's. You will never understand Romans 8:28 until you see the key verse, "to those who love Him" then all things work for good. We never understood this. The love for God conquers everything in life. David was a man after God's own heart. God loves the man who loves Him. Everything in life would be good when we love God. This verse only comes to true light when we see that everyhting is good and purposeful because we embrace God in Him as the Highest, a being that the universe can't contain. We embrace everything of Him. His will, His purposes, His orchestra of world and life events. Having embraced God secures a eternity with Him Is that the greatest? If that is, that embrace is good? Every purpose in life is good? That motivation in life brings a man in a right relationship with God, gives the right motivation, gives the right mind about serving God. Goodness of purposes doesn't exalt man. It should exalt God. Praising God. Desiring the good of God not of self. The blessing of God should be our knowledge of His abiding presence.

It is like when a sinner sin, his deepest regret and remorse is towards God but his greatest desire is also restoration. His greatest desire is to get close to God again. His desire would not be his own. Not the circumstances, not the consequences but God alone. If there isn't, it isn't true repentence. Every utmost desire is God. His heart must be a desire to return to God.

Thats remove the idea of Christian is me and self. Lets seek God and His kingdom first. Life is a celebration when we see that.

Pray that God takes away our selfish heart. And delight in Him in every circumstances. That is th real celebration of life. May God alone be glorified and the blessing be ours in the gift of joy He brings when we celebrate His glory.

Gloria sola gratia. Lets not be naive about our Christian faith but simple in our experience with God. He is the greatest of His love and our love.

Sunflower

Dear Sunflower,



You stood tall.
You stood very tall.
You flower under the sun.
You are called a sun flower.

You stood strong.
You stood very strong.
You flourish under the sun.
You are called a sun flower.

You are beautiful.
You are very beautiful.
You are best under the sun.
You are called a sun flower.

And it is a protrait of someone I know :)
Wish you have sunshine filled days ahead..

Cai Hong Tian Tang

Perhaps this is one of the more recent song that I really like.
Am in the lab doing this blog. My office laptop does not have chinese characters.
So can't write chinese characters.

The lab is quiet except this song being played on you tube.
Very nice song.

Every good love song leave a emotional, sentimental and sensual feeling after that.

Thus I liked this song very much.

Still considered that I am not up to par. This is a very nice song. Dun think I have wrote any yet. Recently came up with a tune, very nice too, I feel but decided not to pen down any words. Too time consuming and with some nostalgic thoughts still left, better not..haha

3 more songs for the x'mas musical. Initially thought left only one... But then again, dun think the recent song that I wrote really is up to it. Suppose to be a prayer song, dun think I capture the feeling of the play for that scene. Hmm...How? Am praying. Time is running short. Though I have completed 7 songs for this praryer..haha..stupid right?! so many prayer songs but none I felt is quite the mark. This afternoon I wrote one more. Sounds not too bad. Praying God for divine inspiration but how come still haven't??

2 more songs to write. One with lyrics already, the other with 2 tunes but no lyrics. Listen to 881 again and again....trying to understand the hokkien song writing style. Interesting. Hokkien songs have this fast beat usually and very colourful words.

My friend said this to me before and I agreed. Got to be "crazy" to do things well. While I was learning to play guitar, I played day and night, practise day and night till I became quite proficient. Now listening hokkien songs only now and then...haha, no wonder lagging a bit.

Trying to get that tune, that describe a gangster. Hmm how...??

I will pen just one last thought. Recently been thinking much about life. Again the purpose of life cropped up. I can't say I enjoyed my job very much. There is something that has changed I think. But I am under alot of stress at work. I hope this thought is not an escaping thought. It is an old thought. A thought of 10 years.

If it would come to past. I hope it would. By the grace of God, if it would, it would. This flesh is too weak to succeed.

The purpose of life must be fulfilled. Whatever God called us to be in whatever, we must live it up for Him. I find it most sad that if at the end of life, you still feel dis-satisfied with the life you had, and it is a waste. Then it is a waste. And there is no rewind.

I must take courage in God to make right decisions for Him.

This is my prayer.
And I take delight, God has heard.
Am waiting.

And one last thing, I am really touched by Campus people. Thanks for the GREAT card they gave. Sometimes I do realise that God used things to show that the people of God shows His love in measures that touches. Paul said that God used people to encourage him as well.

This is really the season of need and God knew it well. Thank you guys. Thank God :)

Finally

Never able to write a hymn!!! Finally Finally. Thank God.

Dunno whether to use this for musical. A friend said - no hymn used for musical lah...so unsure whether to use. Nice tune I find. Like it quite a bit. Thank God that finally a hymn...haha.

Life is going tougher. Project still not making good headway. Life is stifling as far as studies and work is concerned. But glad the bountiful and abounding goodness of God is keeping me hopeful and joyful.

Keep looking to Him, He seems to tell me.

Thank God for this hymn :)

Let me know Thy faithfulness

I ask not for riches
Nor for any earthly treasures
I seek not for pleasures
Nor for fame throughout this life
I ask from Thee a faithful heart
Willing to follow Thee
With every thought and action

Be first Thy Kingdom come


Chorus


Grant in me, a steadfast trust in Thee
Lead me always to know Thy faithfulness
Grant in me, an only trust in Thee

Lead me to know Thy faithfulness


*I see Your faithfulness (ending chorus)

Give me a resolving heart
Every trial I’ll pass the test
Deliver me a joyful song
This world can never bring
In each and every step of faith
Thy grace I would see
Delight Thee my every choice
Turn each doubt I will face

Let me see every seeking heart
That Thou had drawn them in
With Thy compassion to
Show them the path to take
Guide every wayward soul
To see the way, the truth, the life
Bring every chosen one
Through Jesus Christ your son